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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Trust broken

4 replies

Wintersnow123 · 27/11/2023 15:30

I think I know in my heart what I need to do about this. My boyfriend rang me this morning to say that he had had a big night out, friends came after and they stayed up late. One female friend is staying for a few weeks. He was sleeping on the couch and went to his bed to rest where she was asleep. He woke up to her saying ‘what are you doing’ he had reached for her chest in his sleep. He doesn’t understand why he touched her and feels bad. I am mortified. A) his lifestyle didn’t sit well with me and we have broken up over that previously, but now this. Who would forgive their partner for this? There is no excuse, alcohol cannot be an excuse. I feel like all trust is gone. He can’t control himself.

OP posts:
RayofSunshine18 · 27/11/2023 15:42

Sorry OP, I think he is lying to you - he did it on purpose and he is using this 'accident' line as an excuse in case this girl ever reaches out to you to tell you he tried it on with her.

The fact you've broken up over similar things and he hasn't decided that your relationship is more important than his partying lifestyle should really tell you all you need to know.

Don't be embarrassed and treat yourself with kindness, but do break the tie and move on or this will just keep happening.

Wintersnow123 · 27/11/2023 15:55

Thank you for writing, I got over other things not connected to women but it comes down to respect. I feel like my intuition was telling me so much all along and I wanted to see the good. But this is not something I am ok with

OP posts:
bjrce · 27/11/2023 16:37

He is absolutely lying to you. Also based on the story he's fed you, he should be more concerned with being arrested for sexual assault.

Also, the fact he went up to the bedroom, knowing she was in the bed is very weak.

Do yourself and favour and raise your standards!

Channellingsophistication · 27/11/2023 17:14

He is lying - what nonsense for an excuse. But yes trust is broken better to move on (as hard as it is). Sorry OP horrible for you

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