Just need to get it out.

[JustNeedaPatheticMoan]

I'll preface this with... I know its DHs job. I knew his job before we married.

He is halfway through a 4 week work trip. Norjing unusual with that... he's away Monday-Thursday usually anyway. But I'm exhausted. The house, work, the kids... everything is just piling up. Plus my Mother (who means well but just adds stress) is coming to stay for a few days.

I was ill when he left which didn't help.
He's having a brilliant time and I'm stick here, can't go to social events. DD1 is in the school musical and I've got that to look forward too... but have the guilt she will only have someone to watch her one night whereas her friends have people every night. I'm struggling to get DD2 to sports practices. I'm wondering whether to take her to the Christmas party, simply because I feel guilty that I will have to leave DD1 home alone again to do so.

I'm just exhausted. My neighbour got uppity with me yesterday as I'm an Army wife and we are supposed to get one with it (her husband did 30 years, then her sons...)

I usually get help from PILs but they are also on holiday.

Just feel so bloody useless. I'm supposed to just cope with this. Instead I just want to curl up and cry in a ball.

And I xant tell anyone... because I'm supposed to Just Do It.

This sounds tough OP. Will your Mum not just pitch in and give you a hand? Try to get her on board and tell her you feel you have been struggling and would really love her help. Also, would she go to see your daughter in the musical one of the nights? Re your neighbour, take no notice, she has no right to judge you. Everyone has different levels of coping, its not a competition! Cry if you want to, there's no shame in it, it might make you feel better to get it out. 4 weeks is a long time to carry the load alone, l feel for you.

Unfortunately my mother is disabled so we need to go on the same night (along with my younger daughter). She does want to help, but unfortunately can't. (Its the other way round really... shes visiting so I can help her with her Christmas shopping). I need to do a 200 mile round trip to pick her up tomorrow, which I'm dreading just because of how tired I currently am. And will need to work in the evenings to stay on top of things.

Its just everything happening at once has got a bit much. This particular work trip was supposed to be in March but it got moved up by a couple of months.

So, your husband is away, you have been sick, struggling to stay on top of work, house work, kids parties, musicales etc, etc. Then you mother expects you to make a 200 mile trip so she can do Christmas shopping??

Sorry but this is ridiculous. Why can’t your mother buy Christmas presents on Amazon, order them gift wrapped and delivered to the persons door? 200 miles out of your way is mental under these circumstances. Or, tell her to wait until your husband is home and you have more support.

This is tricky, because you knew beforehand what his work demanded of him.
However, circumstances change and you coulnd't have foreseen how much you'd be struggling to cope with the stress of running your household on your own for such long stretches of time.
Things change. You've gotten married and had children and that changes the dynamics and also the expectations.
I think it's time to sit down with your husband once he gets back home and have a long, honest and open (but no blame) conversation with him.

Just couple of quick things... I was having a bad day day yesterday. I needed to let it out, and it did help.

Also I haven't driven 200 miles just to go Christmas shopping.. I drove 200 miles to pick my mother up so she could go the musical. It means a lot to DD, so I did it.

Unfortunately we have 5 more years to his retirement. No getting out of that. I've been doing this a long time, most if the time I'm fine. But sometimes I just want someone to understand that I'm only human.

Thanks for reading my moan.

You sound amazing to me. You cope all the time.

Everyone is entitled to scream when life becomes too much. It's good to know that helped you yesterday.

Hope you're feeling better today and your daughter's performance goes well.

Ps your neighbour was an arsehole in her response. Judge her for that 😊

OP, feel free to let it all out on here, rant away as much as you like! l'm sure some days must seem overwhelming. I think it will be lovely to have your Mum there for companionship and for you to all enjoy your daughters performance together. It will mean a lot to all of you. l'm glad you feel better today, keep on keeping on!