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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Not reaching out

3 replies

LittleBlueUnicorn · 27/11/2023 11:39

I wondered what people's opinion would be on this situation. This happened many years ago. I found out the man I was with and was pregnant with his child had another child he never told me about he wasn't in contact with the child (the usual line that the mum had stopped him.) Anyway I had the baby and he reached out to her about seeing his child but when she found out he had had another baby she was very angry and blocked him and told him he wouldn’t be seeing the child again. She also said a lot of vile things about me and my child, really nasty things. Anyway ex and I broke up and are not together and I've got on with my life but recently was discussing this with people and they told me I should reach out to her and it's understandable that she was angry. They seemed quite annoyed that I didn’t want to reach out. Personally I have no plans to do this and I think no matter how angry you are you don't wish vile things on a baby. So I'm not planning to reach out and I assume the feeling is mutual as equally she knows we exist and has never reached out either. There was no overlap and he wasn't in a relationship with her. Would you have reached out in my situation?

OP posts:
Ladyj84 · 27/11/2023 11:54

Reach out to her has nothing to do with you tbh. Carry on the way you are what's the point of possibly causing agro when there's no need. Quite frankly it's up to your ex if he wants the children to see each other and it doesn't exactly sound like he is a super dad lol

TravellingT · 27/11/2023 11:56

You don't need to speak to her, you have nothing to do with her. Her child's dad was a deadbeat and she was angry he cared more for another kid than hers. She shouldn't have been unkind about your kid but it's not personal

LittleBlueUnicorn · 27/11/2023 11:58

I should add I have no contact with ex now so he doesn’t care about any kids “more”

OP posts:
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