Do I leave him, or am I just over-reacting......?

[jellybabe83]

My partner and I have been together almost 2 years now, and we're due to get married next August. We've got a gorgeous little boy, but I'm just not happy anymore.... We argue a lot, and he just doesn't do ANYTHING. I don't work, yet I've been buying all the Christmas presents, and groceries.... also he never sorts anything out, like our car which hasn't been taxed for months now. I'm just at the end of my tether with him, and don't think I can put up with it for much longer. He's always getting angry with me when I ask a question he doens't know the answer too, and like with the car, whenever I try to talk to him about getting it sorted, he gets really angry then too.
Maybe I'm just being silly, but it's really stressing me out and getting me really down. I've suffered from pnd the last 9 months, and it just seems to be making it worse.....
xxx

Jellybabe are you getting help for the pnd? If not, think that might be your starting point. Also try to speak to your partner about how you are feeling, but try not to put all the 'blame' on him. Could be he's under pressure too but feeling a bit defensive?
Best of luck. Whatever you do try to keep it amicable for the sake of your son.

don't know about leaving him but I'd certainly put the wedding off and cut some of the stress out of your life. You can tell him exactly why you are doing it too and maybe that would help him to shape up.

Take it easy on yourself though whatever you decide

HTH

I'd advise counselling - esp before you get married. I think you may need a bit of help via Relate or someone. A baby and PND put a lot of strain on a relationship by themselves, and if you feel you can't talk to him without his getting angry then a neutral environment with a 'facilitator' might help break through that.

Would certainly agree with the other guys - don't suffer from depression myself but know others who do and they often find it hard to seperate the wood from the trees - take a step at a time and - if you start to handle the PND things will be a little less hazy. Having a 9 month old is tough going as it is besides having to think of everything else.

Jellybabe,

I think having a baby in the house puts a relationship under stress anyway, I thought my marriage was struggling for the first 18 - 24 months after ds was born. So perhaps you need to start by opening up communication between you and dp, rather than just walking out?

Some people will suggest counselling (I'm not a believer myself, but it seems to help some couples). I suggest trying to get some time together by yourselves, to try to sort out your problems.

If you are not working, you need to sort out money between you. If he's working full time, then it seems right that you should maybe do the task of getting christmas presents and stuff (all the household admin is my 'job', buying groceries, taxing the car, dealing with insurances, family pressies, that sort of thing), but dh gives me 50% of his salary to deal with this, and more if I need extras from time to time.

Please before you leave try to mend what you have, for the sake of your son (I believe children deserve a Mummy and a Daddy together in the same home wherever possible). If this doesn't work, then look at the alternatives.