Is my marriage over?

[Mothermason]

Me and my husband have been together 15 years and have one 7 year old.

Recently I have not been able to stop thinking about leaving, being single, living alone, dating. I am driving myself INSANE.

I do love him, I like our life and I do think I am happy. But if I was that happy why would I be having these thoughts?!

There is no one else but I find myself fantasising about dating too. But on paper he is someone I would go for anyway!

Im really, really struggling. On one hand I like my life and am happy. But I can’t stop these thoughts and it’s driving me crazy.

I have started therapy and we also have couples therapy starting. ANY advice appreciated

thank you!!

I have also realised that there is almost always something lacking in the relationship that leads some people to look elsewhere. In my case - and I m afraid in yours as well - is sex.
i was missing regular sex so much for a long time and then bang! I had a crush on someone. And felt lusted after and then had all the feelings/symptoms you have.
Would this have happened If my husband didn’t neglect me? No. Definitely not.

I left a miserable marriage just under 2 years ago. I didn’t really think about being with someone else, I had just honestly reached the point where I realised I’d be happier alone than with him. He was emotionally abusive. He withheld sex. He put me down. He left a mess everywhere and said it was my fault.
I have learned a lot in the last two years. Divorce is not to be taken lightly. It costs a fortune. It takes its emotional toll. DD is 10 now. She is much happier but it took a long time to get to that point.
Dating again in my 40s has been an eye-opener! Believe me, there’s a reason most of the guys are single! I got ghosted or cancelled on more times than I can count. Met some pervs. Chatted with some I got the distinct impression were not single! I did meet a lovely guy after about 6 months but it’s slim pickings. Be very wary of thinking the grass is greener. If you really feel your relationship is unhappy, then look into your circumstances on your own. But remember that you need to be prepared to live alone, manage all the finances, be sole decision maker. It’s no picnic. Only leave if you’re prepared to stay single…not because you think you’ll meet someone better.

Oh wow I am sorry you have been through this. Thank you for an honest response

Yes very true!’ Hard to bring back the spark after a crush too

Do your fantasies ever involve co-parenting with some who is antagonistic towards you after a difficult divorce? I suspect not.

Remember your fantasy is just that, real-life after a divorce with kids is not anyone's fantasy, believe me.

Sounds like you are trying to fix your marriage so keep on doing that. Your husband needs to put effort in too.

So @Mothermason I just discovered concrete evidence that my husband cheats.
Be careful of “lovely” husbands that rarely f@ck.
And these feelings that you have? It may be your intuition protecting you and trying to tell you something.