My friend fancies me

[tempted]

Hi, I have changed my name for this one as this is very private. A week or so ago I was out for a drink with a good friend of mine (both of us female) and after a few drinks she admitted she fancied me and wanted to go to bed with me. I laughed it off and that was that. However since then I have thought about what she has said a lot and have to admit I am excited by the idea. I have said nothing to my friend. Yesterday she bought the subject up again over a cup of coffee and said she was serious. I have admitted to her I am tempted but need to talk it through with her. We are going out for a drink tommorrow night. Neither of us are in other relationships at the moment and as far as I am aware neither of us has had a same sex relationship before.
I would welcome your views, as I am very muddled, part of me wants to very much as a bit of fun more than anything else. Another part of me thinks it could wreck our friendship and potentailly hurt us emotionally. Help!

tempted, depends on what you want IMO. If it's a relationship rather than sex you want then proceed as you would were this a male friend I think. Wooing, time together and see how you feel. You're both free to be with each other, you both want to and you're both adults, so why not? Sex will change your friendship though, just as it would if it was an opposite sex friend. Good luck!

I would tread very carefully. I take it she's quite a close friend? Sex will change everything. I would say take it very slowly and don't do anything unless you are absolutely certain that it's what you want. I'm not usually the cautious type, but there are boundaries here and if you cross them there will be no turning back. If you have questions about your sexuality then maybe you need to work them out first before you rush into anything.

Are there children and husbands in this equation? I would think these would need to be taken into account.... wouldn't they?

I was going to change my name for this, but I couldn't get it to work. So...

I've been in this situation twice (what a slapper) Once with a friend who was an out lesbian, and once with my bf who swings both ways.

I thought long and hard about what to do because I was sorely tempted both times. In the end I did not sleep with bf because I thought it would change the dynamics of our friendship too much. I also did not want to have a situation between us that either could use against the other should we ever fall out.

With the other friend, the dynamics were very different. She knew I was essentially hetrosexual, uncertain and yet fascinated by the concept. She is one of those women who everyone wants to be friends with, so I was extremly flattered by her attention. Having said that she is also very sensitive and knew what a big step it would be. I appreciated that she gave me a long time to make up my mind, the invitation stayed open for about a year before I finally took her up on it one drunken evening.

I've never regretted either action. If you do go ahead, ask yourself if you are totally sure that it will never become an issue between you. Would you take up a male friend if he made a similar offer? Whatever you do, be frank about your fears with your friend. You never know, it may be the start of an entirely new phase in your life.

Good luck.