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Original poster

What would you do?

7 replies

confused594 · 26/11/2023 10:42

Background - Me and my now H moved to his area for his job about 4 years ago...I knew no one but uprooted my kids and took the leap so to speak....

We are quite open with phones etc but last night I saw a chat that he had archived between him and a woman from when we just moved here and he's sending her the eyes, she's saying what's that for and he said you know but I'd get in trouble if I told you and her saying there's more and him sending a series of wink emojis eye emojis and talking about the weekend giving compliments etc

It was 4 years ago...do I do anything about it or just leave it ? What would you do?

OP posts:
Ladymarycrawley1920 · 26/11/2023 13:48

Yes I would absolutely ask him what that is about. I wouldn’t be happy, at all, and I’d want to know what had been going on.

Original poster
confused594 · 26/11/2023 13:57

Ladymarycrawley1920 · 26/11/2023 13:48

Yes I would absolutely ask him what that is about. I wouldn’t be happy, at all, and I’d want to know what had been going on.

Even if it was 4 years ago and nothing since? The message was archived which tells me he wanted it hidden and there's no proof they met up or anything it's more like he's eyeing up a photo she's posted or something...

OP posts:
DustyLee123 · 26/11/2023 14:28

Are they his kids?

IncompleteSenten · 26/11/2023 14:30

I'd want to make sure that there's no second phone or something. Just because what you found was 4 years old doesn't mean that's all there is to be found.

You should talk to him. See his reaction.

Ladymarycrawley1920 · 26/11/2023 14:35

@confused594 yes, because I value honestly above everything else. I am also utterly crap at keeping secrets….if I had found this I literally could not say nothing and even if I tried to say nothing, he would know from my behaviour that something was wrong. And also, I’m a cynic. There may well be nothing else on his phone that you’ve found but things can be deleted, there are a million ways to hide communication if you so wish. This would be utterly out of character for my DH (but the majority of betrayed wives think that!) and I would be looking at him wondering who he really is? So I’d have to ask.

Original poster
confused594 · 26/11/2023 16:03

DustyLee123 · 26/11/2023 14:28

Are they his kids?

No x

OP posts:
Original poster
confused594 · 26/11/2023 16:05

Ladymarycrawley1920 · 26/11/2023 14:35

@confused594 yes, because I value honestly above everything else. I am also utterly crap at keeping secrets….if I had found this I literally could not say nothing and even if I tried to say nothing, he would know from my behaviour that something was wrong. And also, I’m a cynic. There may well be nothing else on his phone that you’ve found but things can be deleted, there are a million ways to hide communication if you so wish. This would be utterly out of character for my DH (but the majority of betrayed wives think that!) and I would be looking at him wondering who he really is? So I’d have to ask.

I'm worried he will just throw the whole snooping in my face, just because we have "open" phones I would be in the wrong for looking in his messages it's not like I just came across it etc and I don't know how to explain something inside told me to look x

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