Are all men like this?

[Needingapickup]

Feeling a bit down and just want others opinions, as my body self confidence (after 3 children) is at an all time low.
My partner of 2 years knows about my insecurities, but whilst scrolling through his face book feed, it appears to be full of bikini clad women (randoms) from social media/news articles, all looking perfect, probably mid 20s/no children etc.
I was having a bad day and couldn't help but comment "Oh I bet you would want a woman like that" To which he replied "all men would want to be with a woman like that". This started a huge row and he ended up just walking out (doesn't live with me). The sincerity in which he made the comment has really got to me.
Aside from my self-confidence being more shot (past abusive relationships) it now has me wondering. Is there any hope for the average woman with 3 kids and a body to show for it. Is this what all men secretly desire?
He often makes comments about other women on TV and on his facebook feed, which upsets me and he knows that. So why be so inconsiderate? I don't consider myself ugly, size 10-12, 5ft 8, nearly 40, reasonably fit (exercise wise) doing reasonably ok in life.
How on earth do I build body confidence from here....feel so deflated. He tells me he loves me for who I am etc, and wouldn't change me, but then why make these comments. I'm so conflicted. I feel like he is only with me as a second choice because he can't "get" these other women (he is 50 now). Am I wrong to feel this way?

See the difference a compliment can make 😃

These are things that he needs to be telling you too, how lucky he is to be with you and how attractive you are etc

He needs to find himself a different 'hobby'.
Yes, I believe most men enjoy looking at 20 odd year old women with perfect bodies. Most of them however are not so dense that they do it in front of the woman they profess to love.
I actually don't think you need counselling to improve your esteem with regards to your body, I think you need to tell your partner he instantly quits being such a troglodyte and stops looking at woman like sweets in a candy shop window or he slings his hook.
I imagine you will feel instantly better when you are not being compared to some unattainable standards that you haven't even set.

Just rude and disrespectful. How dare he say that. Do you have daughters?

I just don’t get the scrolling them in front of you, tbh. Insta models, it’s so basic and he’s fifty! He’s either dense or nasty.

From the counts of it you are real-life hawt and he’s a begging, negging lech. Sad for him.

Gross! He's already with a woman far younger than him and he's letching on 20 year olds! And what an awful comment. I'd throw this one away OP, I hate slimy perverts and no not all men are like this. I perform secret tests on the men I've known and some pass with flying colours.
I won't be with a letch who is okay with making his wife/partner feel insecure. And then they wonder why we don't want to sleep with them.

A lot of them are just simple cavemen. They are blinded by it and will click like, follow, comment because that moment of interaction with a young woman is more important than anyone else.. ego..

Why on earth haven't you dumped this man? He's fucking awful.

We could all have perfect bodies whatever frame we are but since we are usually run ragged from life in general it’s not achievable.
Id be tempted to tell him that you’ll be going to the gym 5 times a week for the foreseeable plus spending all spare money on nails, hair, treatments, personal trainers and a specific nutritional diet in future. He will then have a ‘perfect’ woman. Ask him what he thinks about this plan.
Men can be so pathetic. I’m so glad I’m not male.

At least they don't have to put up with this shit from women.

Most men will look at pictures of half naked young women yes. It's the way they are made. Before the internet, there were dirty mags and when I was a kid (in the 60's) all of my friends' dads had a stash of them somewhere. The posters saying he's filthy for ogling women in their 20's - well, is he likely to be letching after women in their 50's? I know some men do, but it's not particularly mainstream. What most men would not do is openly compare their partners to these unattainable models.

@Disturbia81 Interested in the tests you have done?

If he keeps commenting on other women whilst knowing it upsets you, then commenting on other women is higher on his priority list than you feeling good.

Anybody who continues to do something, knowing it upsets you, needs to be removed from your life. Otherwise you're just volunteering to be upset, any time you see them.

Disturbia81 you do realise I wasn’t suggesting the OP actually do this?

There are men who like SSBBW's or older women so no not all men want a 20 something insta baddie photoshopped with her made in Turkey body and filler face.
Your husband is an embarrassing sleaze. You're already 11-13 years younger than him, so you know he values youth because he is that sort of a creepy man. It was alright to gloss over this or be in denial about it when you first met because you felt you fitted that category now approaching a milestone birthday it's scary.
So are all men like him? Not all but too many.

OP - Respect is the bottom line - you are being not only
disrespected but taunted with it, as though he is getting
off on upsetting you

Watchkeys gave a good analysis - and advice

Fucking hell @Needingapickup dump this cretin immediately! Ugh stop being so masochistic. It’s not ok that he’s a creepy pervert openly ogling young women, it’s not ok that he makes comments about other women and it’s fucking appalling that he said “every man wants to be with a woman like that.” His disregard for your feelings is pretty abusive and his entitlement towards women is deeply sexist and superficial.

You sound hot. Dump this pathetic loser and stop subjugating yourself to someone so low.

You are worrying about a body which, from your own description, sounds way above average for you age, which also happens to be 10 years younger than his.
Meanwhile, does he have a perfect physique for his age? I'll bet he doesn't. I don't get why women worry about themselves even when their blokes are tbh 'punching' with them.
He may look, but it's fantasy and he wouldn't be able to get them - unless he's wealthy, but that's sad also.
Do all men look at stuff? Probably most at some point as they are more visual, but the amount varies. Seems unfortunately that you have one who spends more time looking than some do, and he doesn't even try to hide it. It doesn't mean a lot, but it can be off-putting, and passing comments is poor behaviour. Up to you what you do. I suspect some of it is to bring you down as he is actually probably insecure about how good you are really. Really he suspects you are too good for him, but isn't about to let you realise that in case you leave him, so he likes to keep you insecure.

There are lots of men out there with enough emotional intelligence to care about not hurting their partner with their comments, regardless what they think about other women's bopdies.

That is the problem with your partner: not that he fancies younger women, but that he shows no concern at all about hurting you, even after you've let him know he does.

Have better standards and send him out to look for all those 20 something attractive women... and grab the popcorn.