Pretty sure I know the answer to this but just want to make sure I’m not being unreasonable.
I’ve been seeing someone for around 4 months that I met at work, not my usual type but seemed a nice guy. I’ve been in a dv relationship before so any red flags I just shut off rather than ignore.
Theres been a few things but this week has just took the biscuit. A woman messaged me on Facebook after seeing some of his statuses about dates with me. After an argument he’d been messaging this woman bad things about me pretty much just saying I’m moody a lot and have had a go at him for things. His definition of having a go is me asking him to please not do certain things that I find triggering because of my past so he stated I compare him to exes which I do not, just state that I find it triggering. He then proceeded to ask this woman what she was up to and stated he was just having a bath and sent her a picture of him in the bath. She wasn’t flirting with him just normal chat and she definitely didn’t ask for anything like that.
After finding this out I just outright said I was done as I’m not prepared to compromise on any of my values due to my past. He stated it was because we’d had a disagreement and that you couldn’t see anything in the bath picture and pretty much just said it was just bath water. I disagreed and said I was pretty sure he would not be happy if I’d done the same to a friend and he said if you couldn’t see anything he wouldn’t be bothered. My views are it’s disrespectful to put down your partner to someone else after a disagreement without giving the full story. I’m not moody I just like my space at times because of my past, aren’t prepared to ignore things I previously have and since then I just don’t feel the same way now as feel like he’s broken my trust.
I thought he was being pretty gaslighting and taking no responsibility. He was messaging me voice notes of him crying begging me, saying if I could just leave I was never into him in the first place and seemed more bothered about our relationship right there and then than the fact he’d hurt me and I just don’t think sending people pictures of you in the bath is normal. He stated he wasn’t gonna be left hanging to know if I was going to stay and since then it’s just been ‘guess you’ve got some thinking to do’ along with him messaging me saying it’s 2 years for him since his ex had a termination without him knowing which I feel like he’s using to try and put some guilt on me.
My gut is screaming at me right now and it’s not wrong is it? I started seeing him and liked him in the beginning but due to my past I’m very much of the opinion that I’d rather be on my own with my son than be disrespected and I feel like anyone that had respect and love for me wouldn’t do anything like this and would actually take accountability for their actions. Meanwhile he keeps telling me I’m over reacting