I was looking for a job in the marketing office at my university ( I am a PhD student who recently finished). for this reason, I reached out to one of the Marketing officers, whom I had known for several years since I worked in the office on a temporary basis in 2019. He mentioned he was looking for an assistant for is particular job, and I was instantly interested in this role. We exchanged contact information and our interactions eventually became personal. I already had his number but had not started texting him on Telegram. However that day when I asked him to meet, he stayed until 5 pm to meet me and we met up outside the gates of the university and I talked a lot with him. We had an unspoken cue that I would accompany him to his house and later on I went with him to his house where we had some fun. We met for coffee and later at his house quite a few times and we both sexted and sent each other pics of ourselves.
However, despite our intimate connection, he started displaying a heightened interest in another girl who works in his office. I know this girl as she was seeing one of the guys I liked last year and I already hated her for that. I also hated the fact that she was working in the research office because I used to work there back in 2019 and I was quite upset that she got into the office.
However, he apparently had his eyes on her since last year when she was a student. She started working in this office since December last year and she's 14 years YOUNGER than him. Since the last month or so, they started talking a lot more and he was openly flirting with her, even in the presence of office colleagues, and let her accompany him to meetings with students. His interactions with her included frequent online messaging, sharing photos of himself and his cats, and complimenting her appearance, calling her glowing, radiant, pretty etc. She has not slept with him nor seems willing to because she seems less into him and he seems more into her. However, he constantly nudges her on her arm, playfully touches her feet with his and is very flirty with her. Even his office colleagues can see this.
Meanwhile, he began to avoid me, going as far as leaving the office early to prevent encounters because I had been texting him and he was not replying to me. I texted him on Monday this week that if I cant find him I will go to his office but he still didn't reply. Every single text I sent was met with silence. Finally I went to his office looking for him but that day he wasn't there as if he already knew that I would come looking for him. After this, i went directly to his and I did air out that I have been texting him but he is not replying to his colleague who was in the office. I sent him one last message saying that I went to his office and he finally responded to my messages. Surprisingly, he claimed that he's not looking for an assistant and cited a toxic office environment as a reason for not assisting me.
This situation has left me feeling used and confused about his motives. he was buttering me so much that day when I first went home with him but now its radio silence and he flat out refused.
why did he do this
hes 46. I am 36.