Relationship with no commitment.

[HMD1985]

I have been dating a guy for 3 months and he is so lovely. We met 6 months ago and I liked him but wasn't sure he would be a fit in my life but he spent 3 months convincing me he was perfect and he treats me like a queen. I have never been with someone so caring and considerate.

Anyway our relationship has been going really well, however he was a bit off last week and he said he wasn't 100% sure about things. I ended it as I cannot risk being hurt after going through a divorce and having a six year old to consider.

Anyway after talking things through he explained we were getting really close and he was scared as his job progression isn't as good as he thought it was and he is extremely career driven. So he doesn't want the commitment of a relationship as he may need to relocate for work and he doesn't want to hurt me.

He is 34 and I am 37. I have been devastated this past week not being with him, but my options now are:

1. Cut all contact
2. See him as friends as we get on so well together
3. Continue to date him without the commitment knowing at any time he can go.

I am so confused as I really like him and he treats me so well. Do I go through the pain now and hope I meet someone else? What if he doesn't relocate for work? Do i stay with him and just delay the heartbreak?

Please help!

Honest answer ? Cut all contact

Youve only known him six months - he’s not your friend
Its too late for the third option , you’ve already started to invest in the relationship and it will lead to bigger heartbreak further down the line

Hmm I’d go for option 1 as I would imagine staying friends is with benefits added and do you really want to continue with no strings attached?

It’s hard but a clean break is always the best way forward.

I'm all for the cut all contact option I'm afraid
He isn't ready or interested into committing to you.

Number 1. Don't listen to his bullshit.

After with him for six months,

Did you feel closer and safer with him?

Did you both sexually engage?

Are you comfortable for FWB/NSA relationship without having any feelings with him?

Do you have any other alternative if you gracefully end his relationship?

Do you have proper plan B to sexually channelise your energy?

You have to ask these questions to yourself, write down in a piece of paper.

Do 4 Quadrant analysis and then decide.

Never feel sentimental and emotional when you are letting go of someone.

Give more energy to them than their size so that you will feel deeply rewarded for your amazing karmic action.

Much love.

Yours JVD.

@jvandussen they've only been dating for 3 months.

OP it's been 12 weeks of dates, continue to date him if you want but he's clearly told you he is not commitment material, up to you what you want from a boyfriend.

@EvenBetta Apologies, correction needed and mistake noted.

Thank you dear soul.

Much love.

I type faster than I think sometimes.

Number 1.

He's 'gently' letting you down.

Just end it.

1

End it. He doesn't want to commit and he might be lying about his job. I don't see that you'd be happy as just friends.