Difficult situation with sister and childcare

[GiraffeInABath]

Slightly unusual one but need advice.
My DSIS found out her husband was cheating (for the third time/third woman) three weeks ago. DSIS lives in a beautiful rural village, 30 mins drive from the nearest train station and DNiece attends a school which is 35mins drive in the opposite direction. All was fine when married to BIL as BIL worked from home so was responsible for school runs/was home in the evening.
DSIS has a very demanding pressured job which doesn’t exist outside of London so she has to commute and often isn’t home until 23:00/midnight then leaves again at 6am.

Since telling BIL to leave, she doesn’t have childcare. I initially was very supportive and did the school runs/slept over. I’m continuing to do this, however it’s become more difficult as DSIS’s work plans change at the last minute meaning she requires childcare on days I’ve agreed to meet friends etc. DNiece is just 5 years old so too young for the school bus and there is still the issue of needing an adult in the house when DSIS leaves for her commute at 6am.
How did I speak to DSIS about how she plans to manage long term? It’s only 3 weeks since it happened so I want to tread very carefully but also feeling exhausted as I’ve only slept at my own house twice in the three weeks (don’t have my own DC) and haven’t really had ‘down time’ between caring for my niece and my job.
Should I wait a bit longer? Realistically DSIS needs two live in full time nannies on opposite shifts, second option is moving house to a commuter town and moving DNiece’s school, however would srilk
need early morning and evenings covered whilst she’s so young.
BIL seems to have forgotten he’s a father and hasn’t offered any help.

I think she needs to think about some combination of:

(a) nanny or childminder
(b) ex doing some childcare as he is still the father
(c) moving closer to work
(d) whether she can work from home sometimes
(e) whether she can reduce her hours

Her working hours are ridiculous when she has a young child. She's basically opted out of parenting and left him to do it. Now she's left you to do it.

Maybe this was why he left. He's still a dick for doing this to his child.

She needs to take emergency parental leave to sort out something sustainable for her as a single parent.

Yes, let’s all blame the mother for what fathers do all the time. All her fault, he can’t keep his dick in his pants.

Would make sense for bil to live in the house and care for his daughter and your sister to rent closer to work. She could see her daughter at weekends, it's not like she sees her during the week now is it.

They both sound awful. They have both completely opted out of parenting. They both need to sort themselves out and put their daughter first.
6am to 11pm is ridiculous she is only seeing her child at the weekend, she might as well not come home.
They both need to step up, have a chat over the weekend and say you can only help on x day.

What really helpful advice @AuntieJoyce

OP you need to have a conversation with your sister as the current situation is untenable. You really shouldn't be spending part of your life facilitating childcare.

You shouldn't be spending overnights outside of your home.
Your sister needs to get real and sort out parental responsibilities.
That you devote so much time is commendable but it's enabling both parents to duck out of parenting.

You really need to speak up, OP. Easier said than done BUT... they are both using you.

Poor child.

My helpful advice was earlier in the thread in which which I suggest that the father come to the house and carry on what he’s been doing to date i.e. the childcare.

He was asked to leave because he couldn't keep his dick in his trousers.

Many families have the arrangement where the DF works those hours and the DM has a WFH role or SAHM and no one bats an eyelid.
The DM here is the main wage earner.

It sounds like she needs a live in nanny or au-pair.

Does she split time with her soon to be ex? Would it be better if your niece lived with her father during the school week if her mum is out of the house for up to 18 hours a day?

What Is a dsis?

Dsis = dear sister

When does she see dd if she's out the house 5am-12pm?

She needs to move dds school/move house nearer work and needs a nanny.

I feel awful for your sister but I feel even more for her dd. Dads left and mum isn't there much either by the sound of things.

When does she sleep?!