Help me decode my date please.I'm perplexed!

[TheCatsPaperbag]

In brief, meet a guy on OLD and chatted for a while. Decided to meet up. He booked a venue. I was surprised at how romantic it was (but I'm not sure he knew that before hand). Anyway we had a couple of drinks, lots in common, good laugh etc. However throughout the whole evening I got absolutley no indication in body language, behaviour or words that he liked me, which was fine, he's a nice guy and we would probably get in as friends anyway, but i had no idea what he thought at all. I received a message asking if ì was home safe telling me he really likes me which surprised me, but thought first meeting so he was shy.
Go out again. Dinner and then a bar- exactly the same story. It's like a blank slate in front of you.
I have genuinely never met a man who I could detect no body language or anything from its impossible to know what's happenening. Has any one else come across this?
He did kiss me briefly when we went our separate ways at the end of the second night and once again I received a long message about how much he likes me etc etc but I don't know how to act in this situation. It's possible he's shy and scared of what to do, I think he might also potentially worried about scaring me off, but I don't know how to react.

It's worth saying I vere towards sapio anyway so knowing someone's mind is the thing that attracts me most, but not if they display no visible signs of interest there has to be that there too obviously.

Thoughts?
Anyone Else experienced?
Is he just odd?
What should I do?

Sorry that's so long.

Worry on what you think of him, not what he thinks of you. Do you like the guy? Have things in common? Similar values? Is he kind? Etc…

I’m quite similar to your date as I’ve been told I’m hard to read and don’t give very much away.

Im definitely not a psychopath though 😀 some people are naturally guarded and it takes time to fully open up. It’s not a red flag it’s just who they are but it’s about how it makes you feel.

If you have doubts then ask him how he feels.

Psychopath, that's jaw dropping! I am definitely excitable, generally. Generally tho, it doesn't matter if anyone else around feels the same way and generally people who don't feel it are still interested.

Dating is totally different to that, in that it matters how the other person feels and differences in communication style isn't necessarily fatal. Communication styles aren't 100% biology, they're a blend. An incredible amount is learnt behaviour, and relationship/couple counseling, therapy etc are big business as proof of that. Sure, nobody must care, make an effort or bother to educate themselves but throwing around language like that carelessly is ignorant. A degree of interest & understanding IMO is just broadening horizons and helpful in understanding ourselves as much as other people. People go to therapy to help understand themselves.🤷‍♂️ Some interest is probably also useful developing a long relationship because people, all of us, are always changing

If you're not getting any danger signals/red flags from him and you would like to get to know him better and decide whether YOU fancy HIM (reference your sapio comment), just go with the flow for now and get to know his mind, his personality. It's only been a couple of dates.

Worst case scenario is you've been out on a couple of nice dates in a nice restaurant with a nice man.

Nothing wrong with that!

Body language is not as universal as many people believe. Some people do not display it to any marked degree. Sounds like you have found one OP.

It's only been a couple of dates. Give it a couple more and see how things develop.

That’s ridiculous.

He could be nervous, being a gentleman or maybe reading your body language as reserved.

I was reserved with DP when I met him. He was gushy over text and tried to hug me, kiss me or hold my hand over the first few dates. I was very guarded but chatty. I did send some lovely texts that says I was interested. DP said it was hard to gauge if I was interested.

he didn’t want to make the first move and I wasn’t going to either. I think we had a text chat and I joked I never make the first move. Next date he made the first move and we never left the bedroom for hours!!

I was shy, scared or rejection or just didn’t want to open up. Glad he didn’t overthink me.

From my experience of similar- he was gay.

He told me he was bi. Our dates were fun but there was just something off. No flirting or body language. He would keep hugs ans kisses very short.

He was cute so I kept going on the dates. But they left me feeling completely...unattractive. Like I felt like he didn't want to touch me. So ultimately I was like 'so...do you actually like me? Because I'm getting mixed vibes' and he messaged back that of course he did and that infact he really, really liked me.

...and then the very next day...he texted to say that actually he was gay and had been trying to convince himself he was bi.

Which makes sense.

Only other experience of similar - turned out he was being gentlemanly as I'd mentioned having just had a date with someone creepy. So it could also be something like not wanting to freak you out.

I think some men are extremely wary of being inappropriate with women. He’s maybe a decent gent, trying to be respectful. I’d give it some time, unless you’re genuinely not into him -
but for me, the most important thing is valuing and enjoying someone’s company, and having plenty in common, which it seems you do.

but if you’re wanting something different, it would be a kindness to let this one go rather than trying to change him.