Not really sure what I want to achieve here other than telling my story I guess. I was in an abusive relationship some years ago - started off perfectly (which I now know was total love bombing) and descended into every type of abuse you can imagine). It only ended because he met someone else, although he continued to harass me for many years afterwards. He has abused at least three further women after me including putting one in hospital - it was due to go to court but he and his family intimidated her into dropping the charges.
He was reported to the police several times for his actions towards me (by myself and others around me) but was always released without charge. I should add that this was before coercive control was a legal offence.
The main incident I keep thinking about it one night where he beat me, tore my pyjamas almost off and stole my laptop. The police attended late at night after the neighbour heard him threatening to kill me - he ran off when they arrived but they caught and arrested him. The officers at this point begged me to press charges - I wasn't sure as he worked away a lot and I was obviously safe then, and I worried he'd lose his job. The officers exact words were 'If you don't, he will come back and he will kill you'. So I pressed charges. Next day he was released without charge - self-defence he claimed, and apparently no actual physical evidence.
Unhappy with this and now totally believing he would kill me, my mum and I complained to a senior officer. Who actually laughed at me. Amongst other things he claimed they might never have been a laptop, and that I may have even inflicted the injuries on myself! Also my ex claimed his mate in the police had done him a favour, and the senior officer confirmed the mate had been dealing with this case.
We never took it any further but the same force has now come under fire for still failing to adequately protect victims of DV, all these years later and nothing has got better. I was failed so badly, so how many other women were too? Like I say I don't know what I want to get from this post if anything but it feels better to get it off my chest.
Thanks for reading if you've made it this far!