Husband asked for escort address

[Wendy401]

I have an awful situation where my husband has messaged an escort via sms, to an email address, of an escort. I cannot see the entirety of the thread but it starts with the escort saying ‘Yea’ and ends with her supplying her address. I have since messaged this account (iCloud) and I have received no response. He says that there was nothing acted upon and it was a tool for masturbation. How would I be able to acquire definitive evidence from him that his story is accurate? I don’t believe him but I want to file for a divorce and I want hard evidence to run with.

I also had next day delivery lingerie ads appear on my social media whilst away from our home and we had had an argument. Again, this is very likely not enough evidence to use but I have the intuition to know that this was again another escort related activity.

He's lying. You don't need more evidence. Sorry this happened to you

Divorces are no fault. Just not wanting to be married to him for whatever reason is sufficient.

obviously he is lying. Please get yourself checked for STIs

You don't need evidence. If you don't want to be married to him because he's obviously cheating on you then you don't have to.

He didn’t just “ask for her address” he was arranging to see her. He’s lying. V clearly

I responded to your other thread.

You don't need to have evidence to start divorce proceedings. The law changed last April so all divorces are now no fault.

Divorce is no fault in the UK. You won’t get more money or custody because of why the relationship broke down.
It will be hard to prove any more details because he could have paid cash and based on the partially deleted chats, could have been doing this for a long time. You don’t need a “good enough” reason to divorce- his actions are disgusting and you have a right to be furious and feel betrayed.
Cheaters and liars only admit to what you can prove. Like you, I wouldn’t be surprised if there were a lot of details that you will never know.

I agree. He's lying. If I discovered this I'd just end it. I wouldn't be interested in hearing his excuses and lies.

You never get to the end of the lies with these people. They’ll only admit to what they have to.

I caught someone by entering his email into the adult work reset password field (it tells you an email has been sent, but only if that person has an account that’s been accessed in the last 12 months). He handed over the login details, which showed half exchanges (much like you’ve seen in iMessage) and exact dates and times of when he’d been logged in more recently. That wasn’t the end of it, though, and I only found out more by trawling through his phone for further evidence. With each discovery I was told it was the final disclosure and it absolutely was not. People like that only tell the truth when they absolutely have to and you never know when you’ve reached the bottom of the lies.

For me, the whole experience became incredibly traumatising. I don’t know whether I gained anything from making further discoveries or whether the process simply harmed my mental health.

He’s lying. You don’t need any more than that. I’m so sorry, you must be so hurt. These awful crappy men!

As pp have said you don’t need evidence. You can divorce him whenever you like and I’d say messaging an escort once is enough.

Gosh, there’s nothing more sexy than knowing someone’s address.
Seriously, you don’t need more evidence

You know what he's done. You know you want to divorce him. You don't need anymore evidence. It won't be any difference to the outcomes of your divorce even if you could get it.

Thanks everyone. I was hoping it would make a difference in the proceedings that’s all. I think he’s perverse and don’t want his behaviours influencing our daughter. It’s a huge concern for me that.