BACK STORY: So I am typing this whilst having a mental breakdown but I will try to explain
Ex-DP and I (both 33) separated before our DD (3) was born as I felt betrayed due to lying about using contraception on purpose(yes I take accountability for not protecting myself also but it took a while ). Anyway, I continued to play dad almost all weekends and go back to my mum on weekdays and by the time DD was born I was almost back to a semi- full-time relationship.
Downfall: A few days After DD was born my mum died and exactly 1-month to the day I was arrested on a mistaken identity (she struggled to believe me). I was clinically diagnosed with Depression. For 6 months I only saw kids via video calls & would meet DP alone and it was very emotional. All was cleared and records deleted and I bounced back and tried to get the family back together but it transpired that her step-dad told her that I was no good, suggested she remove me from birth certificates and take parental rights away during the 6 months nightmare.
A year later, her stepdad horribly dumps ex-DP's mum and makes her homeless so she moves in with my ex-DP for months. During this period Ex-DP was still under the influence of what she was told or led to believe whilst i went through legal matters so we never fully get back together so I started seeing someone else for a brief period. I realise this isn't best, I should still wait for ex-DP to come around eventually so I go back to playing part-time family on weekends.
FINAL HEARTACHE : Now I dearly love this woman and my kids, I would give my life for them and she is fully aware. In the last 6 months, this Ex-step dad has been coming to hers on weekends and she insisted its for the kids as they love him and she will never let him sleep over. This a lie because two months ago my son let it slip that he has been there the whole weekend and furthermore , TWICE she has cancelled my visits because of ex-step dad coming, pretending as if I hadn't notified her I would be coming for family time(she still begs me for this even when I have suggested it just be kids and myself alone).
Red flags:
🚩 When I am with her she is always on her phone like everyone else young but when I know he is around, she goes oddly quiet in the evenings and always tells me she slept early.
🚩 This man made her mum lose her home, left her high and dry and never looked back. why does she still entertain him
🚩 Her mum doesn't know he sleeps over at all & they do not even talk anymore
🚩He was a rubbish father to his own kids and one has a kid now and he doesn't visit her as much as he does his ex-stepdaughter
🚩This guy used to do cocaine with ex-MIL and I suspect he likely still does but she chooses him to babysit my kids when she goes out and does not even ask me
🚩 She lets him wash my kids (5 DS and 3DD)
🚩Maybe I am overthinking, she has a history of dating very old men when she was 16, she was shacked up under her mum's roof with this ex-stepdad's friend who was his age(maybe 40 years old at the time), yes it illegal in this country but it's leaving me with a dirty idea these two may be up to no good. I suggested this three times now this year when I have had a few rants with her over text and she always finds a way to skip this topic.
QUESTION: Now finally she has denied me suggesting a date I will take the kids for Xmas shopping because she is going away for the weekend and somehow already arranged with this ex-step dad to come to hers and look after them.
I have had enough and I Have filed for 50/50 custody this morning but what other rights or ways I can put in place regarding this guy's contact with my kids as I their relationship is a bit weird(keeping him around and picking him over me a few times times now) and If I am right, I do not want my kids to grow up with confusion.