Hi
I have a really complicated situation with my husband. We’ve been married five years and together 15 but the last 4 years have been really difficult. I found out four years ago that he’d been having an affair while I was pregnant with a much younger woman. For years he claimed it was an emotional affair only and I believed him. I forgave him we had our first child and I did my best to move on. I still had moments where I felt very angry about it though. At this stage he swore blind that he had finished things with her.
cut to when our child was nearly 2 my husband said he was leaving me and wanted to separate. He denied being involved with the other person and said it was because we didn’t get on. He left for about two months and then decided he wanted to be back with me and I accepted him back. I later found out he was in a relationship with that person after he left and had been on and off for the previous nearly 3 years. Of course it was a full blown physical and emotional affair they told each other they loved each other and that they were soul mates. I felt very naïve for not realising the extent of it. I then found out that he had gone on a date with her the day after we had decided to get back together. I felt devastated and so betrayed and I told him to leave. He spent the next six months begging to come back and telling me he realised I was now the one for him that he’d made a huge mistake and he’d realised there was no future with his affair partner. I told him I couldn’t be with him but we continued to spend time together with our son. We went to couples counselling initially just to work out a separation but overtime I decided to give him another chance. He moved back in, and I quickly got accidentally pregnant. We had a happy few months but then he became resentful of me again and blames me for everything he hasn’t achieved in his life.
when my daughter was five weeks he told me he thought we were great parents but he wasn’t happy in a relationship with me. I told him I wouldn’t try and keep him this time and wouldn,t fight for him. I absolutely know this is the right thing to do and I cannot let this man in my life again but we are still living together and he is now making an effort to be nice to me making me cups of tea or bringing home shopping. In my weaker moments I’m so regretful of everything that’s happened and feel like if I could’ve been a better wife, more fun, younger, more easygoing (a word he favourably used to describe the other woman) that I could’ve kept him. Eveyrtime I see him in the house I cry and just wish this wasn’t happening I’m afraid of what life looks like as a single parent of two and would love to hear any positive stories about separating.