In laws question

[Doteycat]

Not sure if this the right place for it but, how often is acceptable for inlaws to come to stay? Not for a visit, but to use the place as their accommodation when in need of a bed? is it ok for someone to expect to be entitled to stay whenever they like?
Its a new situation and Im rather baffled by it all.

It is not acceptable for someone to think they are entitled to stay in your home whenever they like, whether they are related or just friends.

Do they ask or just turn up ?

Do they have a key and just let themselves in ?

If you don't like they way they are treating you and your home (and the fact you are raising it on here suggests you don't like it) then you need to do something to reduce the incidence or stop it completely. It's up to you how you do this - can be anything from -
FIL you can't come to stay this weekend - me and DH are planning to have rampant sex on the sofa from Friday evening to the early hours of Monday morning

If you're staying - please bring the following - your own bed linen, towels, a crate of wine, 4 fillet steaks and a litre of choc chip ice cream. Oh and the ironing basket is full

MIL - no you can't stay this coming week because I don't want you to.

How does your DH /DW feel about this ? They may be part of the problem.....

👀

Here's the thing - your in-laws are your partner's parents. So ask him - do you want them to stay? How long do you want them to stay?

Your parent are his in-laws. Think on.

No one is entitled to stay in your house at all!!! do not allow it to start. dont allow them to have a key. if this is in laws then your dp must have a word and tell them NO!

In-laws are your spouses' parents. So it depends on a couple of things:

His relationship with them
How happy he is to have them stay
How happy his spouse (you) is to have them stay.

There is no protocol, it's just what everyone is happy with.

What does that mean?

I think the eyes are what fresh hell is this situation

It is not normal, how dare they feel they have a right to your home to stay as and when they choose. People are invited, they don't invite themselves. This is a strange set up.

Depends why they need to stay and for how long

Honestly think it depends on the relationship really. I know I am welcome
At my parents house when ever I want even if sometimes as just a base to catch up with old friends and vice Vera. I wouldn't feel that way about my in-laws though !

Not my inlaws.
My parents and dhs are deceased.
No need to think on.
Someone asked me what I thought and honestly my gut reaction was nope not cool at all. No key but definitely an expectation of being accommodated.
I'm not impressed with their carry on but as I said I don't have inlaws anymore and never ran into this problem so thought maybe I was being unreasonable.

I actually got so stressed out by too many and too lengthy visits by in laws that it affected my health. I was physically ill and not recovering. My GP said visits should be three days maximum if everyone gets on really well and a lot less otherwise. I used to get on amazingly well with my in-laws but they noticeably stopped caring about me after we had children. Very sad.

watching!!