Hi all. First time posting but really need some advice.
I’ve been with my bf for around 10 months now, he’s 15 years older than me, (in his 50s) but I thought a mature man could treat me better than men my age.
anyway, we spend most weekends in at his house even though I have my own place, but he always insist we stay at his. It’s a nice place, although sometimes he does have lodgers staying. I’m usually there 3 nights per week, leaving my own 18 year old son at home who I do miss when I’m away.
I haven’t seen much of my friends at the weekend since I met my bf, and felt like I needed some space and me time lately, so with my works Xmas do coming up at the weekend, I decided to stay at mine all weekend have time with my friends and family. I wasn’t funny with him at all, told him I’d see him next weekend and everything was fine.
on Saturday, I was enjoying being at home and getting ready for a night out. He was messaging me a few bizarre things. He sent me a photo of a bracelet that he found down the side of his couch when he was cleaning asking if it was mine. It wasn’t. He said it must have been someone else’s before me and binned it. Then he was insisting that he pick me up after my works do to take me back to his later on. I wouldn’t have my stuff at his house, plus I was looking forward to having a girly night and probably a late one since I hadn’t let me hair down in a while, so I politely told him no thanks.
he asked me to FaceTime him before I headed out, which I did, and he told me I was showing “too much breast” and was not happy that people could look at my cleavage. I’m not the most self confident person, and my boobs are probably the only thing about myself I’m happy with. He knows this.
I was messaging him while at the Xmas do, keeping him updated with my night and we didn’t speak much after 11pm as he usually goes to bed at that time anyway. I had a great night out with friends I hadn’t seen in a long time and really enjoyed myself.
I messaged him in the morning at 10:30 saying “morning”. He wrote “morning” back. I asked him if he was ok, no reply. Tried ringing him, didn’t answer. Text him again saying I don’t like the silent treatment, he didn’t reply.
He’s text me today at 2pm saying “i think I’ve got myself in a pickle, don’t know how to make things better” so I replied “i don’t understand?”. I’ve tried to ring him, he’s ignored me. He’s been online, and ghosted me again all day. I’ve told him maybe it’s best I get my things from his house this week (small belongings I’ve left there over the months). He’s read it and not replied.
is this punishment for me having a life/going out? This is the first night I’ve had out since being with him since March. Just want to add, we always stay in at his house and he has never taken me out for a meal and paid.
it feels like emotional abuse/controlling behaviour. What would you do?