How do we not argue?

[Wantofeelgood]

Bit of stressful stuff going on at the moment and DH and I are always arguing. This mornings tiff is because I apparently said to DS15, ‘ that money was a treat from us’ DH was listening and is now cross because it was a treat from him (im sure I’d said that) and I should have warned him I was going to mention it as he’d sorted it.
ive always dealt with the kids on my own, it felt like, so it’s a bit of a suprise that he’s getting involved, so I need to remember that.
but I did get cross. At the moment, I seem to do everything wrong - call the school re uni? Row, I’m wrong.
yet for ages DH has said,’you sort it, I’m busy’
what’s going on and how can we not row?!

It sounds like he is going to pick a fight with you over any and everything.

You can’t unilaterally ensure that you don’t row. No matter how you tiptoe around him. Which means that you need to come at it differently - have a conversation about it, maybe involve a counsellor.

Thanks. I am actually seeing a counselor but am not at all sure it’s particularly useful. I ramble on and say something and she repeats it back at me. I don’t want to endlessly slag DH off, and hear her give me a summation. I want to know how to improve things, me mainly. I want to know if it’s normal in a long term relationship.
just remembered that years ago I thought,’if I live with him, life will be hard’ I think I had red flags but this was before I’d heard of mumsnet so he couldn’t be shaken off.
😳