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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Sharing here as can’t in real life

44 replies

Twinkletoesandbuttonnose · 19/11/2023 20:58

I’m sharing this as I’m confused and perplexed about how the world works and just a bit flabbergasted really. Sharing for no purpose or advice.

I grew up in Western Australia and when I was about 4/5, I remember playing on the beach one day with a little boy who was about 7/8. I remember it vividly and had a lovely time. I didn’t know his name but we’d had a fun day building sandcastles, playing soccer and splashing and whatnot. Didn’t ever see him again and didn’t know him other than that day back in the 80’s.

I moved abroad when I was 9, to England, where I lived until 2 years ago. My husband and I moved back to Australia, this time to Cairns, in Qld which is eastern Australia.

Bit of a digression but maybe relevant. When I lived in England, at a school summer fate there was a fortune teller who told eleven year old me that my soulmate is called Robert but I won’t marry him until much later in life after having my own family. That me and this ‘Robert’ were twin flames (? Think that’s what teen she used but may be corrected?) and together in every life. Anyway, I married someone with a different name, who I’m extremely happily married to and will be married to forever.

Back to the now. I started a new job about a year ago. I have a colleague I’m drawn to but not in a physical or sexual way, just our personalities hit off and we’ve become good friends, his wife and my husband too. They’re a wonderful couple. His name is John (name changed), everyone knows him as John.

Well this weekend was his parents golden wedding anniversary, they’re also wonderful. We’d met them previously. They (his parents) hosted at their house. Had a great day. But guess what?!! John’s real name is Robert, he just goes by his middle name, John. Which meant nothing to me, I didn’t see it as a sign from the universe or anything like that. I didn’t even think about it until earlier. But this is the really wacky part. On his parent’s mantelpiece are some family photos which I was just casually looking at. One of John/Robert at a beach eating a huge ice cream with it all over his face, about 7 years old, with me and my late mother unaware, in the background. I got home and went through my photos that I’d inherited from my parents as I’ve also got some from that day of John/Robert and his family in the background.

I am obviously not going to share any of this with anyone in real life but had to get it out. No idea why. Thank you for reading (if you did)!

OP posts:
Elle200 · 19/11/2023 21:10

Wow, what amazing coincidences, I'm glad you're happily married and plan on staying that way 😍

FrustratedMumHelp · 19/11/2023 21:13

Wow that is quite freaky!

MiddleClassProblem · 19/11/2023 21:14

I think you should put the twin flame thing to one side whether you believe it or not. Even if you do, it might not be this Robert. It’s a very common name which works well for a fortune teller.

But I would let them all know about the amazing coincidence. Personally, I think it’s really cool and these sound like people who will be in your life regardless so it’s almost weirder to keep quiet about it, especially if it comes out down the line.

Hummusanddipdip · 19/11/2023 21:14

Truly is a small world!
Maybe he is your solemate. I don't believe solemates are always lovers, so it's plausible to end up best friends!!

FoleyHuck · 19/11/2023 21:17

Amazing! I don't know why you wouldn't share it in real life - you don't need to share the fortune teller part, but the being in each other's photos is something I'm sure they'd be delighted / amazed to learn!

OrlandointheWilderness · 19/11/2023 21:22

Not entirely sure I'd be telling my DP some other man was my soulmate personally... 😂

peachgreen · 19/11/2023 21:23

Soulmates aren’t always sexual or romantic. I have a male soulmate and neither of us want to be together in a romantic sense. But he’s still a soulmate. I have three female ones too.

Missingmyusername · 19/11/2023 21:26

peachgreen · 19/11/2023 21:23

Soulmates aren’t always sexual or romantic. I have a male soulmate and neither of us want to be together in a romantic sense. But he’s still a soulmate. I have three female ones too.

^^^ Totally agree with this.

LivingWithNarcissist · 19/11/2023 21:27

Mathematician Matt Parker (Aussie too) did a programme/Ted Talk about these coincidences and they are more common than you would first would have thought. He explains the probabilities. Try not to overthink things and end up telling yourself it’s fate!
Matt Parker is my weird crush. I think our lives should be aligned in the future! 🤣

ProvisionsOnTheDock · 19/11/2023 21:27

The twin flames stuff is clearly bollocks.
But I can't believe you didn't say, hey that's me in your photo!

Twinkletoesandbuttonnose · 19/11/2023 21:30

OrlandointheWilderness · 19/11/2023 21:22

Not entirely sure I'd be telling my DP some other man was my soulmate personally... 😂

Haha. The really funny thing is, my husband and I hung out in the same group at middle school and he also saw this fortune teller, who told him he’d play for Chelsea 😂 So I used to tease him about that as he despised Chelsea, and he used to tease me and tell me he couldn’t date me as he wasn’t called Robert. So when John/Rob’s mum told us that John was called Robert, my husband did have the audacity to give me a sly teasing brow raise in jest. My husband knows I don’t believe in soul mates etc.

That is kind of why I was reluctant to tell my DH about the beach pics because I don’t want his imagination running away with him. I also don’t want him thinking he has a chance of being a professional soccer player and playing for Chelsea ;-)

Just to reiterate, there is zero attraction between John/Robert and I from either side. He has the most beautiful and amazing wife who is the most dear friend to me.

I do thank you all for reading. I may share this with John’s mum. Not sure yet. It’s just so strange!

OP posts:
KeepingTrying · 19/11/2023 21:32

Maybe you could do what they did in the importance of being Earnest and change your husband's name to Robert?

Probably a good idea to point out that that is you in the photo, or it will totally do your head in keeping it a secret.

I think it was mean of the fortune teller to mess with your head like that. Your husband is probably top notch and he is probably a perfect Robert in his soul.

OrlandointheWilderness · 19/11/2023 21:36

It's very strange I do admit!

brokenhearted2 · 19/11/2023 21:44

peachgreen · 19/11/2023 21:23

Soulmates aren’t always sexual or romantic. I have a male soulmate and neither of us want to be together in a romantic sense. But he’s still a soulmate. I have three female ones too.

Are these not just good friends?

Cherryberrypie · 19/11/2023 22:31

Yep, I totally believe this.
I had a similar encounter with an old lady many years ago.

i was sitting in a little park which adjoined the churchyard, eating my lunch and mulling over a huge problem I was struggling with. This lady appeared and sat beside me and started chatting. I was a little bit annoyed as this was supposed to be my ‘thinking time’

Anyhow, she told me she had just visited her sons grave. It was a very hot day and I wondered why she was wearing a big tweed overcoat and a head scarf. Well she told me that her family shunned her because she she ‘knew things’ before they happened.

so, now I’m feeling a little bit uncomfortable.

She told me that a family friend had a small child and she ‘’knew” he was going to get very sick, and it was quite possible he would die. Well as it happens, the child did get sick and he never recovered and did in fact pass away.

So, after that, the family refused to have anything to do with her.

Well by this time I’m thinking she’s a nutter and I should probably leave.

Then she said, ‘it will be ok you know, everything will turn out fine’ I started to ask what she meant but she stopped me. She told me my name (almost) think Pauline instead of Paula, it was that close. She told me my birth sign and gave me the initials of people close to me, including the person involved in my current struggle.

Well, now I was sitting up and paying attention. She asked if I had anything to drink. I had a small bottle of orange juice in my bag and I thought Oh God, she knows I have. So I gave her my drink. Then she told me she could see lots of water in my future. I asked her if she meant like a swimming pool and she said no, not like that, she saw big oceans, miles of water.

Well that didn’t fit anything as I lived nowhere near water so I thought this bit must be wrong.

She told me a few more things which made no sense at the time and reassured me that whatever decision I made would be the correct one.

I thanked her and left, feeling a little bit shaken.

Fast forward many years and I can tell you that the decision I made was indeed the right decision and the person whose initials she gave me became my husband 2 years later. Although that marriage ended (after 20 yrs) I then met my current partner and we moved to another country where we now live, near the ocean.

Ok, I know this sounds like a load of made up rubbish, but I swear this happened. I can’t explain it, I have never been tempted to visit a fortune teller, not then and not now. However, whenever I have a difficult choice to make in my life I recall her telling me it will be ok and that I will make the right choice, this has carried me through a few tricky events.

Regarding OP’s soulmate. Yep, I firmly believe that there are people in our life who are supposed to be there, no matter what. It doesn’t mean OP will jump into bed with him, but they have been brought together for a reason. The reason may not be revealed for a few more years yet, but one day there will be an ahh hah moment and it will become clear.

Lubilu02 · 19/11/2023 23:06

I think the poster above summed up my thoughts pretty well.

Don't disregard it, and possibly don't tell your husband about it, it will only interfere with all your relationships.

Whatever it is, it is lovely and meaningful and a sign all is on the right path. That's how I'd take it anyway.

I love how life can throw a little unexplainable magic our way.

RandomForest · 20/11/2023 01:21

I love coincidences.

Pinkpinkpink15 · 20/11/2023 01:28

I can't believe you didn't blurt it out when you saw the photo, I would have!!

Ladyj84 · 20/11/2023 03:56

Cool coincidence but Robert is a common name lol my hubby is one at the supermarket he works at there's 5 of them same name so they all use daft nicknames so they know who's who

Twinkletoesandbuttonnose · 20/11/2023 05:51

Ladyj84 · 20/11/2023 03:56

Cool coincidence but Robert is a common name lol my hubby is one at the supermarket he works at there's 5 of them same name so they all use daft nicknames so they know who's who

It’s not really a common name in Australia. But that wasn’t the coincidence. It was me being in the background of his photo, 30 ish years ago.

Those are some beautiful responses, thank you. The old lady on the bench story gave me goosebumps for some reason, how fascinating.

OP posts:
user1492757084 · 20/11/2023 06:05

I would have to share that piece of co-incidence with John and his family. Show them your pictures etc. It could be that you are related as a distant cousin etc or that your parents knew each other. You were four, you might not know the whole story.

I would put aside the Robert twin flames thing as any Robert might be that Robert and it is not reality like your beach experience. You have an incredible life. Stay happy.

user1492757084 · 20/11/2023 06:20

For over 100 years Robert had been continuously in the Australian top 100 boys names .. until 2004.
There are many Roberts.

Zanatdy · 20/11/2023 06:20

Wow love this kind of thing. Who knows what will happen in the future, but what a great story

scrimpton · 20/11/2023 06:27

Considering fortune telling is a load of old bollocks, I'd say what a coincidence.