Have a fallen out of love?

[stressedmomsclub]

I'm not sure if I still love DP of 9 years. 2 small children, a dog, a cat, engaged..

Lots of backstory -

We rent due to his financial issues. Can't see us buying any time soon which stresses me out.

I don't feel he helps me enough with the children, doesn't get up with them in the night etc. I am exhausted.

Doesn't help much around the house, won't walk dog unless I ask etc.

Very generous with money and is a good dad overall, just a bit lazy.

We don't have sex. I don't enjoy it. I don't even like kissing him.

So he's been away for the weekend on a work trip and I've loved every minute of it. I've worked & had the kids but it's been so relaxing and I haven't missed him. He's back today but has been sleeping on the sofa not bothering with the kids which is just the tip of the ice berg for me. I can't be arsed anymore. I don't feel happy. My friends and family know I'm not happy. But I still stay... for convenience, for the kids, because it's all I know. What do I do?

I don’t want to end a long term relationship but I think you know the answer already. Life is for living and if you don’t even want to kiss your partner then there’s an issue.
Sorry OP, best of luck whatever you decide x

You've checked out of this relationship. Sounds like he's more of a lazy lodger than a life partner and potential husband. Move on.

"But I still stay... for convenience, for the kids, because it's all I know. What do I do?"

Embrace the unknown instead. Do not get bogged down in your sunk costs as so many people do. You would not want your kids as adults to think that this example of a relationship is their "norm" too. Staying for the kids will not be at all "easier" for them nor for you. Your kids will further pick up on your unhappiness at home if they have not already. Showing them a loveless relationship where you do not want to even kiss him will do them no good either.

What did you learn about relationships when you were growing up?.

Women in poor relationships as well often write the "good dad" comment when they can think of nothing else positive to write about their man as you have done here. And he is not a good dad to them either if he treats you as the mother of his children like you describe. He's been asleep on the sofa and has not been bothered with them at all.