How did you decide if you prefer single life or being in a relationship?

[Magimixdeluxe]

How did you decide for certain if you were a relationship type person?

From my own personal life experience I've never really been interested in dating and much preferred my own company. I have had 1 or 2 short term relationships which started out as friends but tbh I think being single is what feels natural and best for me.

Maybe I haven't met the right man but I'm at the stage where I think relationships are hard work and don't bring anything but headaches lol.

I am 41 now and can't see my view on this changing.

@JammieJem I'm someone who is genuinely happier single unless I meet someone who is genuinely illuminating as you say.

I feel more lonely in a group of people than I do in my own company. I've always felt like this so nothing new.

I'm pretty content with life although would love more money to do more things but wouldn't we all 😂

It definitely wasn't a dating site. I've only managed to briefly date buffoons from those.

My boyfriend and I share a niche interest and we have mutual friends. So we got chatting and kept finding more things in common. If we weren't dating, he'd absolutely be my best friend.

From my experience, you meet people when you aren't expecting to. It's pointless trawling through the internet looking for soulmates. Unless you're determined to have a relationship with anyone no matter how poorly suited you are, you're unlikely to find one of the ones.

If you’d asked me this ideation a few years ago I would have said I can’t imagine not being in a relationship and that being single as my worst nightmare.

Now 4 years single and I love it. I really don’t miss anything about being in a relationship- apart from sex - and the can’t imagine the thought of living with anyone again. It all seems far to much to effort for very little reward and I don’t want my peace disturbed.

I have to admit I have been pondering this lately.

I've ended a 20+ year relationship this year and have been doing a lot of soul searching about what went wrong etc. I wonder what I would want from another relationship. I know I don't want to live with someone again. Don't want to share finances. DON'T want to blend families or take on someone else's kids (my own are hard enough work thanks!). I have one child free non-working day a week and every one has been ridiculously busy. I can't see where I would fit a partner in TBH. I am enjoying finding myself again.

But I miss having company in the evenings sometimes. I miss physical affection (hugs etc) and I definitely miss sex. I miss feeling wanted. But I'm not sure I'm desperate enough to do anything about it just yet. In another 6-12 months I might change my mind.

My ex is already in another relationship so clearly not thought about it as much as I have.

@TheHawkisHowling Do you think the more serious sites increase your chances of meeting someone more suitable or its just better to meet someone face to face in real life? I've found plenty of people say they want a committed relationship on Tinder or Hinge and really they just want sex.

I like hiking so probably stand a better chance of meeting someone I click with if we have shared interests.

I think it's pure pot luck with any of those sites. But so is meeting someone organically.

I know it sounds trite, but these things really do happen when you least expect it.

I've mourned the unexpected loss of my single life so my advice is to enjoy it while you can.

After a 20 yr marriage, I'm loving life in my 40s. Chn late teens, so I'm nearly as free as a bird.

I missed sex, so I found me a FWB online. He's great. We're both enjoying what we have for now, and have done for the last year. We spend weekends together, do lots of couple things like dinner, cinema, days out without the stress of thinking "is this going anywhere?" We chat a lot most days, so the interaction is there.

Do I see myself with him longer than 5 years? Only if someone better doesn't come along who I do choose to want to spend my life with, and give up my freedoms of my own space in my home.

I think I've found a very happy medium. The only thing I miss is the nightly cuddles and hugs in bed, particularly in this weather.

Love my own company but was lucky enough to meet someone who's company I love more.

I enjoy being single rather than being in a relationship. However, I've been in two 10+ years relationships and have 2 children.

I'm staying single now.

This might sound weird but I’ve never really craved having a relationship, single life is the default. I grew up with parents who stayed together in a dysfunctional marriage and I just think, I couldn’t do that and I would never want to be reliant on a man. I like spending quality time, intimacy, dates, long chats etc but also having my own space in a relationship and being able to say bye or not deal with their friends visiting or their stuff in my space. I’m yet to meet the right person so for the time being I’m happy being single. I’m in my 20s and on a good salary so might be biased towards independence though - it would take a lot for me to want to combine lives

I prefer single and think of all the time, money and head space taken up by suitors over the years could be more wisely invested in other, more productive pursuits aimed at meeting my needs, not theirs. Now, middle aged and disabled I am at great risk of attracting someone who is interested in my financial status and how it benefits them potentially. They won't be drooling over my dazzling array of surgical scars and pill boxes, nor endless list of hospital appointments. Over the last decade, all three serious boyfriends have been sent on their way for wanting more...marriage, housing, income, a future etc. No thanks, single and independent is nice, and I intend to stay that way. After the last man, I vowed never again. It started on a great high and progressively slipped down a disappointing slope into despair with him. He wasn't who he claimed to be and held so much back. When I finally got to know the real him, it wasn't an attractive sight at all...his past mistakes and the way he spoke about others was such a red flag.

I was very happily single after my divorce and expected that to continue. Met this guy, fancied the pants off him and asked him out. That was 5+ years ago. I've got the best of both worlds - we don't live together, still see our friends and have nights out without each other but also lots of time with each other. I still fancy the pants off him.

I did a complete 180 about 3 years ago. I'm 48 now and have pretty much always been in relationships. When I split from my long term partner of 17 years, I was in panic mode about never meeting anyone again so I dated a couple of guys for a few months. However, pretty much every relationship I've had has ended up toxic - coupled with the complete trash I came across on OLD, I now have absolutely no intention of dating again and I'm happy with that decision.

I was happily single until one day I just felt different and suddenly wanted a relationship and somebody to share life with. It was literally overnight change and I started online dating. Gosh it was exhausting and frustrating (fun too) so I don't think I could be bothered if I ever end up single again.