Would really appreciate some advice here.
My parents have come down to stay with me this weekend, for two nights for a special event. I’m going through a bit of personal turmoil atm. Have quit my (very good, very stressful) job and also been very physically unwell recently. I’m 30 so not a child but still need my parents every now and then!
From the day they arrived, they didn’t ask once how I actually was. Didn’t really engage at all or enquire about me.
my mum is incredibly defensive and not very self aware. I also think she struggles to relate to people.
today everything came to a head. I told my dad how I felt and he was great, offered support, said they loved me, all the right things. He knows what’s going on.
my mum on the other hand suddenly said to me, oh are you aware I’m planning to stay an extra night? I need to be in your city for longer. No asking, nothing, just telling me what she is doing. It all came spilling out, and I said that it was going to be very difficult to accommodate that as dh was back tonight and there was nowhere else to sleep. She did her standard trick of getting passive aggressive (it’s fine, I’ll ring hotels, I can tell you don’t want me) and then I really told her how I felt - said I hadn’t felt any support from the last few days, I was really struggling, that to be honest I didn’t feel like she was being much of a mother to me. I was sobbing.
she has now just left my flat and gone. They both have. They said lukewarm goodbyes but no physical hugs or proper responses. Just shouted through my bedroom door.
im so angry and upset. Am I asking for too much? Can anyone relate? I can’t see how there is any basis for a relationship there, especially with my mum. We used to go on holidays together, but when I really need her, she’s not there.