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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Does this type of love exist?

27 replies

Rosa120 · 18/11/2023 22:31

Hi, to be honest I do not know how to start.. I am afraid that films and my imagination influence my life and expectations in relationships. I am a huge fan of these romances, where they look at each other and it is like they have never seen someone so beatiful. Those films and books where love will beat everything and these people, they are all just perfect.. especially men. Of course, I know.. make up, it is on purpose, they must look perfect. Well and this is it. Then I go out and I want to feel what I have been reading in those books, I want to feel the passion I have just saw in the movie, I want to meet this perfect man and have those moments with him. Did you see the new hunger games? I am so obsessed with Snow, for example. :D My question is, have you ever been in such love? Have you ever felt this ‘burning passion’ with someone? Because I have a feeling, that if so, it will disappear after some time.. Couple of months ago, I had a boyfriend. Everything about him was so calm and relaxing. We were living together, we had fun together. Everytime I was sick or had a bad day, he took care of me and everything. Everything I wanted, I had. We had same hobbies, same sense of humour… but I broke up with him, because i though, I should have felt more - like in those films and books - passion, mad love, butterflies in a stomach. But now, I am thinking about it and asking myself, is it possible? Does this type of love exist or it is just movies and books? I am 25.

OP posts:
PramPusherCentral · 19/11/2023 20:33

I also wanted that when I was your age.

Now, what’s more important to me is character. Are you trustworthy, kind, honest, compassionate, responsible, able to maintain a family, kind to animals children and the elderly.

If you’re a really decent to your bones person, I won’t care a jot if you don’t have a romantic or passionate bone in your body, although that would be a bonus of course.

You want someone willing to support you when the shit hits the fan, as it occasionally does.

I can assure you, you will not care about romance when you’re sick and need help, or your partner is wiping your arse when you’re sick. That IS romance.

I was with a gorgeous, passionate, romantic partner… who when I approached for help when I was very distressed, pointed me somewhere else for help!
Romance didn’t save THAT relationship! You can keep your dozen roses.

MushMonster · 19/11/2023 20:36

You had a good relationahip, but it was missing something you need.
You need to know yourself, what ticks you and keeps you interested. But not everything we like is good for us.
I do not think love is exactly as in films and books, but I know that ifyou have one good for you, you do not go around wishing for more.

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