How to end a friendship

[Renton212]

I known this friend for years but I have realised I don't enjoy their company any more, they turn up announced (a big no-no) for me, despite big hints not to or I have just faked not being home because they wont leave for hours and hours and every chat is about how great they are and adored socially. It is exhausting, I've had to fake preparing for a bath before now at 11pm to get rid and they just irritate me generally.

I've been a bit of a sh*t and just tried to ghost them. It worked for a year, even when I saw them in person I would say "hi, hope you're well" but then walk away.
Now I have received a text specifically asking for a catch up and how it would be lovely and I am feeling guilty.

As I see it my options are : just ignore and continue ghosting or send a text saying "wish you well but I dont want to be in your life"...

I don't want to hurt the person, I just need for them to not be in my life, but how do you phrase it??

I suppose the grown up thing would be a carefully worded text ending with ‘all the best’.

But I suppose most of us would text back something about being crazy busy, Christmas, blah blah blah and something vague about ‘next year’. And hope she gets the hint.

I’m seeing lots of ‘had to’ when you didn’t actually have to do anything. You could have communicated directly.

In keeping with the general spirit of obfuscation, try: ‘Sorry! Really busy at the mo. Maybe sometime in the New Year.’ And repeat ad infinitum. She’ll get it eventually.

I’ve been dumped by multiple cancellations followed by “see you in the new year” then radio silence. It feels great.

When you want someone to leave try “right mate, I’m kicking you out now, early start tomorrow”.

and if you don’t want to meet up at all say you’re flat out and will be for a while.

I Would probably just ignore it. It’s gotta be pretty clear by now that you’re not interested so I’m not really sure why they are trying to push it.

Maybe respond saying, ‘yeah maybe in the new year, have a lovely Xmas’

Look, come up with something and stop wringing your hands. Otherwise people will walk all over you.

I had an ex friend who was always about herself and a total shit. Would demand to come and stay and me to cancel others and then on the morning say she wasn’t coming. Always me phoning her. I texted her and said ‘this friendship I feel has run its course wish you all the best’ she rang and I had an hour of begging me to be a friend I said ok, but conversations need to be two way and you need to phone me etc and they need to be positive I can’t deal with phoning you to hear everything that is wrong and so on and she agreed. 3 months later I rang her and texted and she was the same. I sent her the same text in august and deleted her off social media and blocked her.

if you want to try to save her you can have an open conversation but for me 30 years of her lurching from one drama to the next I couldn’t do it anymore. It made me I’ll and I realised she needed professional help and I was enabling her - she actually was so draining

Why do you feel guilty? What do you think you're doing wrong, if you just stop seeing her?

Don't be wishy washy. Say "no" and keep saying it