OLD = Pulling Teeth

[TroglodytesTroglodytes]

Why am I having so many problems even at the first stage of OLD, messaging? I’m back in the game after having a break, have only begun the initial messaging but am finding it so hard. Men that reply with no questions, so it’s hard to keep the conversation going. They don’t suggest dates, it’s just mind numbing back and forth. A couple of years ago I would get decent chats going and plenty of offers for dates. What has changed? Have men OLD got worse or am I stuck in a category where all the nicer men aren’t interested (I’m now 45)?

Yes it’s a completely different landscape now. It’s not just you.

I thought it was my age too. But women in their 20s are experiencing the same problems.

I'm in this category too. Which apps are you on? I'm thinking it might be time to swap for elite singles.

Friends tell me OLD has changed massively post Covid. I have a few friends who met partners and had very successful dates 5/6/7 years ago from OLD but now it seems to be full of men who have zero communication skills and see it as a way to get easy sex.

There are decent men on there but there’s a very deep swamp to wade through to get to them

It seems a universal issue but judging by the experience of my single friends in late 20s, mid 30s and early 40s it does get harder with age as the pool of single people is smaller, and my early 40s friends report growing ageism online, and much less interest over time. So your experience is pretty common. Whilst I am sure some (and hopefully more) women have had positive experiences, being in your 40s puts us in a difficult age to date, particularly if it is on OLD.

I do think it's got worse. A few years ago I found it relatively easy to get chatting to someone and met quite a few people. This time around it's crickets. I hardly swipe right on anyone and if I do get a match, most of the time they either don't reply or reply but don't ask me a question at which point I unmatch. Haven't been on a single date yet. Think the ship may have sailed.

I'm 45 and dipped my toe back in the dating pool back in July/August. I had a few dates but have been dating my (hopefully) forever since September. It really is a numbers game but I think I've struck lucky with this one.

I thought about giving it up and just staying alone but went onto Facebook dating and got quite a lot of matches. My bloke swiped right on me first but I sent the first message - we're 2 peas in a pod and clicked on the first date and have been inseparable ever since.

Good luck OP - there's a lot of frogs

@DeepFriedKermit Good for you! Lovely to hear a positive OLD story. Is Facebook dating discreet? The thought of everyone I know seeing that I'm 'on the market' fills me with horror!

@JuJuHeyHey I found it to be better than hinge, tinder etc and no it doesn't tell everyone. What I liked about it was you could pick your pics from your Facebook profile, there's still fakes, I'm sure but the majority were real people. It really was my last ditch effort before being a crazy cat lady for the rest of my days

Do you have to pay for Facebook dating?

FB dating doesn’t show you to anyone you’re already friends with and you can block anyone you don’t want to see.

Its away from your main Fb page so no one can see you’re on there if you don’t want to.

No it’s free.

I’m 99% on my way to crazy cat lady so if it doesn’t work out then no harm done 😅