Do you ask your colleagues ‘how are you’

[Hellohowareyou12]

I’ve joined a new employer where many of my colleagues don’t engage in ‘hi how are you’ at the start of teams calls
these are 121s
they snap ‘I don’t have much time’

im quite taken aback. AIBU this is rude and will simply take 2 seconds to say ‘I’m good thanks, hope you are too’

I’m in an office based role and we aren’t on a front line dealing with an enormous amount of work or urgent tasks I should add!

Yes that’s rude. Worth mentioning at your next 1:1
It might just be the work culture, there and people don’t notice.

They do.
Although there is a fakeness to it that I always find irritating. Not the colleagues themselves , more the question. No one really says truly how they feel, do They?
'Oh I'm pissed off and stressed, how are you?
But I think a bit of social niceties are good.

Yes, it’s rude. Is it reflective of the culture in general? Or are your colleagues coming across as cliquey and rude to new joiners in particular?

I would raise it to someone senior - seems a bit off. We had some training on different personality types recently and some people are more direct so like to just get to the point whereas some people like myself need a softer approach. I don’t expect to be asked every time but I couldn’t work in a company that doesn’t value treating people as humans

It's a polite nothing where 'I'm fine thank you. How are you?" is the standard response. But it takes seconds and is rarely omitted in my experience.

I don’t know, if I’m on teams call after teams call we tend to get straight into the work needing discussing. Some smaller meetings might start with a how are you but generally we’re so tight on time we haven’t got time for a chat.

Look at DISC profiles to get an understanding of different personality types. Some people love all this stuff, for others they feel a bit more comfortable with some distance. I work with a lady who wouldnt ask me about my weekend for about 6 months- I thought she hated me- it turns out she finds people getting too personal to quickly disingenuous. I'd learn a bit more about peoples styles before making a complaint.

I don’t mind asking people how they are, provided I just get a “fine thanks” back. Usually though the people who actually want you to ask these sorts of questions want to tell you all sorts of inane crap about their weekend. I usually avoid pleasantries with those people.

mare you sure that your colleagues just don’t know you quite well enough yet? I think you need to just learn the form a bit

All the time!! I work in a caring team anyway, medical research too so people are more human than corporate jobs I'd had before degree/PhD and moving into research

I agree it could seem rude but as someone says above it becomes meaningless and fake if ‘prescribed’ and the person isn’t actually bothered about the response or prepared to do much about it if it isn’t a positive one. I am fortunate enough to work in this sort of environment with an extremely good culture where when asked, I know my colleague actually cares how I am. I appreciate that doesn’t help you much though!!

yes start all calls even if I don’t know them

It's just basic manners at the start of a meeting. Yes all my colleagues do this.

Your colleagues are rude and unfriendly

Are you all office based or some remote hence the Teams meetings? I find meetings in person to be a little more natural and interactive than Teams.

No. It’s meaningless and we get straight to the point of our meetings

I hate it when I make a call to another company at work and they go through the pointless ‘hi how is your day?’ You don’t really care how my day is going, can we get to the point and get this call done as quick as possible

We always spend the first 5/10/15 minutes in my 121s asking how each other is and catching up(I have 4 a week with different directors). My 121s aren't just a let's get things done meetings though, and it's always nice that they actually care.

I work with some abrupt and what I consider to be rude people. They are focused and have no time for softer pleasantries. No doubt they believe that their productivity and dedication is highly valued and will be rewarded in some way with loyalty, promotion or whatever. If only they realised that they are just a replaceable cog in a big wheel who'd be forgotten within a week if they left. Be nice, chill out and be human to each other. Put this buzzing around with no time to treat each other with decency into perspective.