Just wondering if at any point it gets any easier? Husband of 20 years cheated 2 years ago. A very drunken night it happened but then met up afterwards after a week on the sly before me working it out, they were messaging and phone calls in that week. I chose to stay for a few reasons. 20 years, a child and what we had achieved over the years and I guess him begging that he’d stuffed up and for me to stay. It’s been horrible for me internally. Initially we talked and talked and he answered all my questions truthfully etc etc after many many weeks we agreed to stop talking about it and try and move forward. The problem is it’s still with me every single day. I have not forgiven him and I don’t see that ever happening. I am disgusted in the person he did it with and find it so humiliating of who he chose over me. Just recently he brought it up himself and said himself that he was disgusted in himself and was embarrassed with what he did and who with which did help me to feel a little better in the moment. But truthfully every day it’s with me and I even get so angry I’ll pick arguments with him over other things to try and cover up that I’m still struggling. I love him but I don’t think I’ve felt “in love” with him since. He’s done everything I asked of him since we chose to stay together but I’m just mentally not moving on. Does it ever get easier? I still have moments (usually around my period) that I will not sleep well because I keep waking up with it in my head. I’ve gone through over eating to under eating. Isolating myself, avoiding people who I know, know her because (no one knows about it, it’s been kept secret) I get triggered if people mention her name in conversation. I get anxious gosh the list goes on. I’d like to stay with him but I guess I figured 2 years in the healing would be further along by now and I’m not sure if I can stay much longer if I’m going to continue to feel like this everyday.