Making friends in adult hood

[Ebee19]

Hi all,

I have posted about a different topic on a different thread and something I thought is, I need to make more friends. I have good friends who I have known since childhood. However they are all very busy and some live away. I went from their life of the party/high flying friend to their quiet, disabled and dealing with a lot friend. We still meet for coffee etc but not quite the same as making memories etc. I also have a partner who one doesn’t like. I feel like I should make some more in this stage of life with similar demands on time.

Previously I made friends through work, hobbies or when dating I had a number of friends who I had dated and decided better as friends, but it come harder in recent years and especially after shielding. I don’t have much energy and can’t do most physical hobbies. I have made a lot of acquaintances in recent months but don’t feel like friendships etc and would feel odd inviting for coffee.

so:

1. tips for making friends at 30
2. how to take acquaintance who talk 3-4 times a week at pool for example to friend without seeming creepy, overly keen or like hitting on them
3. tips for retaining relationships and reigniting closeness at this time of life. At school, uni, early 20s, you talk every day but not the same now

Many thanks

Ah it's tough!

1. Making new friends definitely through hobbies or common interest groups. Maybe on facebook or similar you could join a local group about your lifestyle. You say you are disabled- is there a local support group? If you have kids there's a "Mums like us" disabled parents facebook group that I have met a friend through, but there are probably others for different conditions/lifestyle choices.
2. I would suggest a coffee to said acquaintance. Just casually kind of "oh will you be here next week? Fancy a coffee after swim?"

3.See who would be interested in getting back in touch/keeping in touch. Normally someone who lives nearby and doesn't have too much life on! Just suggest getting together/invite them over for a catch up. Try to make it regular!

On the bumble dating app there is a tab for 'BFF' where you can speak to people in your area who are also looking to make new friends.

If you like reading you can join online, or in person book clubs, great for starting up discussions with people.

Hope this helps :)