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Original poster

“I know what I like”

17 replies

Looloolo · 14/11/2023 06:06

A guy said this to me when he was trying to say that he found me attractive.

I struggle to see myself as attractive. I don’t mean in a self deprecating way, but in a no one ever fancied me kind of way.

Other women say I’m attractive but I think I’m just aging well.

Anyway! This guy didn’t pursue me for very long and I’m trying to take something positive away from what was a pretty shit experience but I keep tripping over this comment he made.

Does it sound like a comment that implies that he concedes that his finding me attractive is unexpected?

Or is there another way of interpreting it that is a bit more flattering and/or meaningful that I’m missing because I’m down on my looks?

OP posts:
DustyLee123 · 14/11/2023 06:54

It sounds very predatory.

HappiestSleeping · 14/11/2023 06:58

It all depends on the context of the rest of the conversation.

You should probably just take it at face value in that he said he knows what he likes, and he likes you.

I would add that physical looks are only part of the equation. It is, after all, what is inside a balloon that makes it go up.

CandyLeBonBon · 14/11/2023 06:58

It sounds like he just wasn't into you but didn't want to say he didn't fancy you in a direct way.

I'm sure you're perfectly attractive but we can't always appeal to everyone (I'm ginger so have had more than my fair share of knickknacks lol). I really wouldn't put too much importance on it.

CandyLeBonBon · 14/11/2023 06:59

Or maybe I've completely misunderstood the phrase! As op said it's difficult to know without any context

RedCoffeeCup · 14/11/2023 07:04

Did he say it after you had said a self-deprecating comment? It sounds like he felt he needed to prove that he did really like you?

BalletBob · 14/11/2023 07:05

Impossible to decipher as a stand alone comment. What was the conversation leading up to this?

Divebar2021 · 14/11/2023 07:05

Well you struggle to see yourself as attractive and he might struggle to express what he finds attractive ( and asking people out is not easy). I’m not sure why you’re assuming it’s a bad thing necessarily unless he had made another comment like “ I know what I like and weirdly it’s you” or “ I know what I like but surprisingly I find myself attracted to you “

AnotherCountryMummy · 14/11/2023 07:08

From your post, it sounds like you were perhaps batting away his compliments/him saying her was attracted to you.

And he replied "I know what I like" as in, don't tell me that I don't fancy you.

But anyway, I think you should zoom out and stop overthinking it.

EtiennePalmiere · 14/11/2023 07:13

He just doesn't have a specific type ie only dates blondes.

GreyCarpet · 14/11/2023 07:21

CandyLeBonBon · 14/11/2023 06:58

It sounds like he just wasn't into you but didn't want to say he didn't fancy you in a direct way.

I'm sure you're perfectly attractive but we can't always appeal to everyone (I'm ginger so have had more than my fair share of knickknacks lol). I really wouldn't put too much importance on it.

OP said in her opening line that he was trying to tell her she was attractive.

It sounds to me more like she was reacting to a compliment in a "No, I'm not attractive" kind of way and he said, "I know what I like" in a I wouldn't have said it if it weren't true kind of way.

OP, I'm not really sure how it could be taken negatively unless it was said to someone who was insisting someone else must find them attractive despite being told that they don't.

MCTorridWaffles · 14/11/2023 07:25

To me it sounds like he’s saying “don’t question my perception of you - you are attractive - I am clear about this even if you can’t see it yourself” . So definitely complimentary although he could have expressed it with a bit more finesse!

C1N1C · 14/11/2023 07:28

DustyLee123 · 14/11/2023 06:54

It sounds very predatory.

I'm curious how you came to this conclusion...

pinkdelight · 14/11/2023 07:31

I wouldn't overanalyse it. He was saying he liked you. It's quite a straightforward thing to say (predatory feels like a reach!) so to pick up on it and try to dig into it feels like giving him too much power over you. Focus on fixing your own view of yourself so you're not beholden to the words of a guy who doesn't really matter.

Catandsquirrel · 14/11/2023 07:33

I'd need a bit more context but were you pushing him back or being self deprecating and he was saying 'well, yes I do find you attractive, I'm the one who knows what I like here'?

Otherwise maybe that he has a set 'type' that you fit?

TeslaTwat · 14/11/2023 08:04

He means that he's so cool, he doesn't have a type. It's case by case basis.

He comes across as predatory. He like what he likes and expects them to like him.

I'm sure you are attractive and that people fancy you. However, this guy told you and you turned it into your life story. Believe in yourself.

CandyLeBonBon · 14/11/2023 08:37

Thanks @GreyCarpet I clearly wasn't awake enough to read property - op just ignore my nonsense!

Watchkeys · 14/11/2023 09:18

I think that, rather than looking into what was going on for him when he said it, you might be well advised to have a look into what's going on for you, that one random bloke's opinion of you needs to be 'a positive experience' for you. Maybe he liked you, maybe he didn't.

Why do you care? Why is his taste in women due so much respect? Is he an 'attraction guru'?

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