ADVERTISEMENT
Mumsnet Logo
Black Friday
1
Talk
>
South Asian Mumsnetters
This board exists primarily for the use of South Asian Mumsnetters. Others are welcome to post but please be respectful.
South Asian Mumsnetters
Unfollow topic
Can't cope with in-laws anymore
0 replies
shininglight16 · Yesterday 22:17
I've never liked my in-laws, they were a red flag from the start.
My MIL is a typical bitchy cunning woman, who plays all sorts of games to show she's a Ms. Goody two shoes when she's not.
I went through deep depression early on in my marriage and she knew that yet, she created a big scene when I refused to go to to her other daughter-in-law's brother's engagement party. I was in a bad state, I couldn't think right, yet, all she cared about was what would others think. Typical Asian mentality. She not only spoke to me rudely then, I caught her bitching about me with her son, who's wife's brother's engagement we were invited to.
She was also never there for me emotionally or morally during that time. All she cared about was playing cards with her friends.
There was also another time when I was completely ill with a bad flu and couldn't get out of bed. She came over to stay with me as DH was out of town for work. She cooked but never spent time with me. I'd have dinner alone, in pain, whilst she was out playing cards, drinking and smoking. She came home at 12 or 1 in the night and made pathetic excuses of being stuck in traffic, when the pub/club she went to was just a 10 min drive away.
She's constantly put me down, belittled me, criticized my way of parenting, told me I'm not fast enough in bathing my newborn (I'm a FTM), interfered in my breastfeeding journey and basically criticized every little thing I've done. If someone else bitches about me, she agrees with them too. However, when she needed money for something, she said I was there to give money and looked at me in a dominating way as in, you will give it won't you?
Her other son borrowed money from me to pay some bills and did not return for a year. I lost my cool and instead of telling him off, she got upset that I brought up the money topic in front of my mom, because according to her what happens at home stays at home and in-laws is home but my mom's an outsider.
She's done loads of other things like wait till my husband comes home from work to criticize me infront of him and look at his reaction. She even did loads of drama when we were choosing our wedding venue. She told her son she wouldn't come to our wedding if we didn't pick a fancy place. We ended up spending so much to invite people who haven't even been in touch with us since.
She made faces at me at our wedding too, she was discontent about something not sure what, I think she was expecting dowry?
There's lots more but my FIL is pretty pathetic too, although not as bad as her. My daughter is down with covid and has had a reaction to her 16 weeks vaccination and I fear she will blame me for it, like she does for everything that goes wrong in our lives. In her eyes, her son is perfect and I'm no good. She loves her other daughter-in-law who treated me like shit when I was newly married. I've tried speaking up but my MIL won't even listen to what I have to say. She shoots me down and tells me she won't believe a word of what I say about her. That girl comes from a rich family and the MIL stays at her house cos she (my in-laws) had to sell off their home to pay off her debts. This DIL has played dirty games with me and DH but MIL is blind, she will never go against someone who's rich.
I could go on and on but what a pathetic toxic family I've been blessed with after marriage. I despise them to the core. Their ego, arrogance, sick attitude, lack of support, bitchiness, gossip, high handed behaviour, lies, playing with my money and not being apologetic about anything makes me hate them even more. I feel stuck due to society and being isolated, need advice on how to tackle this situation. I have no privacy even, they like to blabber every little thing to relatives. Hate them!