DH and I have been married ten years - two DC - both under five. We’re both quite independent people with hobbies and professional careers - travelled the world before children etc. All sounds great on the face of it but underneath I feel like I’m drowning and don’t know myself at all anymore so much so that I lost a good friend of mine in my late teens as she didn’t like my now husband and I sided with him, I want to email her and ask what was I like when I knew you because at the minute I am so so lost.
My DH looks like the model family man but he will often say things like;
God help anyone who has to work with you - in a professional sense. Yet previously when he has worked in a previous environment that I did - he lamented how his colleagues always talked about me doing such a great job.
He says things like my family don’t even like me.
Comments on how I don’t have any hobbies anymore which is difficult as his hobby takes up the majority of the weekend and we both work full time.
Northing I do with the children is good enough and he will compare me to other women in his work and say they cringed when he said he had to *insert any task to help me out. Yet in the next breath he will say I’m the best mummy but this is usually in front of others.
At occasions, he will frequently look really cross for no apparent reason and will then whisper to me something worrying like our toddler son looks so unhappy, which isn’t true but I will of course worry if he is unhappy.
Thank you if you’ve reached the end. I think I really need to find myself again but no idea how to even begin.
My actual voice has even diminished in tone…