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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Getting over 15 year relationship

1 reply

Losttree2023 · 12/11/2023 08:02

Split with my husband at the beginning of the year. We'd been together 15 years.

It's been a very mixed year. Part of the reason we split is because traumatic things happened to me last year and he bullied me and rejected me rather than supporting me. These traumatic things have continued into this year, except now I'm facing them completely alone, and it feels so terribly heavy. This is one of the bits I'm struggling with the most. I have no support other than my counsellor.

I am feeling so much better about myself and my capability, my self esteem was at rock bottom when I broke up with him. He admitted manipulating me to feel better about himself. Being free of that has been liberating.

I know there are many ways that I'm better off. But I still find the whole thing immensely difficult. Everything that has happened to me my whole adult life is entwined with him.

I'm having counselling. Keeping busy where I can. Trying new things. But facing incredibly heavy things which are impeding this currently.

I do feel like the best years of my life are behind me. I'm approaching 35 with no children and a condition that will make this difficult. When it was good with him, it was magic, and I feel like I'll never have that again. The future I'd hoped for is gone.

Any words of wisdom here?

OP posts:
Notimefor · 12/11/2023 08:13

Just keep going and treat yourself really well. Be your own best friend, do not berate yourself. It sounds over simple but it helps. Accept it’s difficult, with or without him, just different versions.

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