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Original poster

DH ogling other women

12 replies

Secrets79876 · 12/11/2023 07:55

So we went out last night, in a pub and I could see that he was looking at this girl, I know why but it just pissed me off.
So why we got home I said it made me feel crap that he did that.
Of course he denied it, don't know what you're talking about, I said it'd be better if you just owned up, I've seen you do it lots. I asked him to stop turning it around on me.
He then clammed up said I'd ruined a lovely day, proceeded to drink 5 more pints then went to sleep...

OP posts:
DustyLee123 · 12/11/2023 07:56

What do you think he would have done if you weren’t there?

Masterofhappydays · 12/11/2023 07:57

No, he ruined a lovely day by being disrespectful to both you and the woman he was ogling.
Enormous difference between a quick glance of appreciation and oogling.

BeingGivenMoney · 12/11/2023 07:59

What do you mean by ogling?

A quick glance every now and then?

Or prolonged staring whilst licking his lips….

There’s a huge difference and one’s a problem and one isn’t.

Original poster
Secrets79876 · 12/11/2023 08:26

DustyLee123 · 12/11/2023 07:56

What do you think he would have done if you weren’t there?

Nothing.... probably looked a lot more

OP posts:
Original poster
Secrets79876 · 12/11/2023 08:27

BeingGivenMoney · 12/11/2023 07:59

What do you mean by ogling?

A quick glance every now and then?

Or prolonged staring whilst licking his lips….

There’s a huge difference and one’s a problem and one isn’t.

Well he wasn't exactly licking his lips but I could see he looked hey up and down a few times.

OP posts:
BeingGivenMoney · 12/11/2023 08:37

Secrets79876 · 12/11/2023 08:27

Well he wasn't exactly licking his lips but I could see he looked hey up and down a few times.

Show quote history

See that wouldn’t bother me depending on how many times he did it.

Me and DH are probably both guilty of looking someone up and down if we find them attractive whilst in each others company. We’d probably just laugh it off together.

It’s human nature to look but like I said there is thin line between having a few sneaky looks and being disrespectful and only you know where your line stands.

How is your relationship in general?

FancyboysOfFrance · 12/11/2023 09:02

Even though it's human nature to check out someone attractive regardless of whether we want to date or have sex with them, oftentimes it's purely window shopping, a partner should still be more aware of their gaze and body language and try to be discreet for the sake of their partner's feelings when they are together. Some people have different 'open relationship' arrangements or agreements and that's different. For most couples, it's seen as disrespectful to flirt, which can be by eyes and body language, with other people in front of your partner.
Me personally I would break up with him if this is just a boyfriend with no children together. If there are children I would speak to him again when both sober and try to make him realise how it feels for me to watch him checking a woman out when I'm right there. If there are more issues I would suggest couple's therapy.

Ianz · 12/11/2023 15:17

Do you look at someone who you find attractive OP ?

PinkPantherPrat · 12/11/2023 16:57

Oh I hated that with ex. Don't think either of us ever cheated (I didn't) but if we went out he sometimes would stare gormlessly at an attractive female.

It would make my night very boring because the conversation fizzled out.

I felt like saying "look at me when we're supposed to be talking".

It's natural to clock attractive people but not to stare and be dull.

Sounds like he's being sulky but point out that if you go out, it's to enjoy time together, not to act like a dimebar.

Original poster
Secrets79876 · 12/11/2023 18:15

Ianz · 12/11/2023 15:17

Do you look at someone who you find attractive OP ?

Be hard pressed in my town centre!
Erm well no and I I'd be discreet if I did

OP posts:
baileys6904 · 12/11/2023 18:19

So whys it better to be discreet rathe than open?

Surely it's more deceitful if you're trying to hide a behaviour?

If you're saying he wouldn't have done anything if you weren't there and all he did was look over more often than u would like, I'm not sure he did anything wrong

Original poster
Secrets79876 · 12/11/2023 18:19

PinkPantherPrat · 12/11/2023 16:57

Oh I hated that with ex. Don't think either of us ever cheated (I didn't) but if we went out he sometimes would stare gormlessly at an attractive female.

It would make my night very boring because the conversation fizzled out.

I felt like saying "look at me when we're supposed to be talking".

It's natural to clock attractive people but not to stare and be dull.

Sounds like he's being sulky but point out that if you go out, it's to enjoy time together, not to act like a dimebar.

I think it was more that I'd clocked him doing it that he was annoyed about.
For me it's the denial and gaslighting me about it

OP posts:
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