Hello,
I am going through a separation with my husband, still living together whilst trying to sell the house which is a nightmare. We have an 8 year old son. Things are getting harder by the day.
To give u some background -I have had doubts about our marriage for years, mostly due to his lack of communication, grumpiness and the way he will make snarky comments aimed at me and then make it seem like I am being overley sensitive or didn't hear him right. He did that so many times I literally wrote down what he said word for word last time to check that I wasn't going mad and surprise surprise he denied he said it like that but I had the proof for my own peace of mind. We would never spend any time together as he chose to work nights so we never saw each other and he seemed to have no problem with this. We just never had fun together and I felt there was very little connection.
Eventually I made a very stupid mistake of doing some stuff online with somebody, messaging & pictures. I'm not proud of this at all so please don't flame me, I take full accountability. Fast forward to a few months ago & I finally made the decision to split up after constant arguments & knowing that things had turned toxic. I don't want my son to think that is normal & want him to have a good example of what a healthy relationship should be or at least that you should settle for something unhealthy. After this I found out he had sex with someone at work ages ago, he reckons it was to get back at me for what I did.
So to summarize we have both made mistakes & we agreed to tell our son together that we splitting up because we no longer get on like we should do but obviously still really love him etc. He was upset for a few days & it was the hardest thing I've ever done.
Fast forward to this week and now twice he has made comments to our son that it's all my fault and I'm the one that wants us to split up and move house. For example today my son got upset and said 'Who's idea was moving house it's so stupid' to which my husband replied 'Don't look at me'. I feel completely thrown under the bus.
I'm in such a state & feel like he could turn our son against me. I won't use him as a weapon so don't want to tell him what daddy did & how it's also daddy's fault too even though that's what I feel like doing.
It could take months to sell the house & even after that I will never be able to move on as we will always have to co-parent. He is constantly verbally attacking me over things like keeping the house tidy for viewings etc ( He thinks I am going over the top with my tidying & refuses to tidy his crap). Does this get better? Any advice appreciated x