I just need a place to vent

[Magdoo]

7 years relationship + 4 years of marriage. My husband and I have travelled the world and shared our dreams of having a family. He wanted 2 children, I wanted 3.

Following a back injury that hasn't really gone away, my husbands health is starting to deteriorate.

We moved home to up size and start our family dreams, we have a big house now and an enormous garden.

In 2021 we were blessed with our first child, however my husbands health gets worse. He will not share a bed with me anymore due to chronic pain, he has his own bedroom. He takes a lot of pain killers and sleeping tablets. He spends long periods of time alone stretching, foam rolling, doing whatever to relive pain. Whilst I do all the difficult nights, breakfasts, lunches, day trips etc with our child. At tea time me and the baby eat together at the table whilst my husband eats his tea on the sofa later on.

He won't go out with us, unless it's a short walk in the local woods. He won't take the baby swimming even if I am Ill and can't go to the lesson. Our adventures are over and he has told me he probably won't get on a plane again. He can't even manage a long drive without being in pain so a staycation further away in the UK can't happen either.

I dream of travelling, showing my child the world with my husband. I have gone from travelling 2/3 times a year to nothing at all.

Everything is me and the baby.

I have found private healthcare that I am trying to encourage husband to go to but he won't. He tells me nothing will work. This is life now.

I am so lonely, I feel my dreams have been shattered.

To add to this my husband tells me he has changed his mind and doesn't want anymore children. I feel absolutely devastated.

I live him, I made a vow in sickness and in health but my heart is broken and I don't know if I can carry on in such a lonely relationship, my heart is yearning for another child. it is on my mind day and night. I worry that I will live to regret it if I stay with him, that I will start the menopause and have a breakdown or something realising there are no more children and my child has no siblings.

We have this huge house and now I want to move back to where we used to live and I regret moving here.

I'm not looking for answers, I'm just needing a place to vent whilst my heart is breaking about the thought of my future.

I wish things were different.

So is he refusing to even seek medical advice? Has he had scans etc? Gone to a pain management clinic? If he hasn’t done all of those things he’s being an arse tbh.

He's been to all nhs appointment offered and had scans but tbh there is very little help via nhs. He has been to a pain management clinic with the NHS and he has had a few treatments but doesn't seem to work. The appointments have been yearly though which is why I am encouraging him to seek private appointments instead

It's hard being ill and it's hard being a carer or having the life you planned changed due to factors beyond your control. He's not doing nothing, sounds like he's stretching etc, the NHS is slow. He won't want to be in this situation anymore than you. You could leave him, that's your choice. I'm not going to chastise you or support you either way, it's your decision if you leave him.

That sounds really hard.

Can you say the nature of his injury?

It's often hard to imagine that there can be improvement when someone suffers like this butthere are often things which can help.