I’m stuck in an awful cycle of beating myself up the thoughts are so intrusive every day. It’s almost been a year since I found out ex partner was having an affair. We have two children 7 and 3. He literally skipped off to work and off to his new women and had barely been back in the uk since.
Since finding out about the affair he also admitted to multiple other encounters with sleeping with women since the children were born including before and whilst I was pregnant with our second daughter.
I feel like all of my self worth has been completely destroyed. I go around and around in my head trying to make sense of how a person can act so cruel? What I did wrong? Why I was not enough?
I feel like I am barely getting by and feel on the verge of completely overwhelmed every single day. Meanwhile he is taking holidays and swanning around the world with his new women. It feels like torture.
i know I need therapy and a lot of it: but I feel paralysed to do anything.
what do I do? Where do I go from here? How can I reframe my thinking?
I am genuinely so sad and heartbroken.