Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Is he flirting?

52 replies

HarrietSmarriet · 10/11/2023 15:07

I'm going mad trying to figure out this guy's intentions so am turning to this wonderful nest of vipers for opinions. Name changed to keep separate from my other posts.

This guy works at an organisation that run an activity my kids attend. We have had minimal contact but have had a few interesting conversations in group settings recently.

Two weeks ago, we both chaperoned an event for the kids. There were definitely little smiles and comments between us, but the one that stands out in mind was when a song came on and as he walked past me he said "I can imagine you dancing to this song".

Later, while we were walking and talking, he put his hand on my upper arm and held it there as he spoke, for what felt like a significant amount of time. I haven't had a chance to speak to him since, but am I reading it completely wrong or does it seem like he's interested/flirting?

OP posts:
FancyboysOfFrance · 10/11/2023 20:55

He might be, if you like him be super friendly and open to conversation, make it easy for him to approach you if you don't want to ask him out.

Sunsetred · 10/11/2023 21:27

It sounds like he likes you but that could be as either as a friend or something more romantic. Maybe watch his interactions with other parents next time too as it might give you a better indication.

GirlWithGuitar · 10/11/2023 21:50

SpicedAppleAndFreshCider · 10/11/2023 20:53

Not having tea @GirlWithGuitar having a nice glass of wine. You are coming across as someone who is quite annoyed.

What you are doing is called projection. I'm not at all surprised that it is you who is drinking.

It's okay though. I can take it.

Blackcatowner44 · 10/11/2023 21:59

Yes it sounds a little bit flirty to me.
Is he on Facebook or Instagram? Would you feel comfortable adding him? That might open things up a bit if you find it difficult to talk to him for long enough to get a proper vibe.

porridgeisbae · 10/11/2023 22:07

@HarrietSmarriet I'd say it's definitely flirty/he's interested OP. Why would he imagine you dancing otherwise?

And someone randomly touching a relative stranger of the opposite sex for longer than necessary, is flirting.

ConstitutionHill · 10/11/2023 22:12

GirlWithGuitar · 10/11/2023 15:33

Is this for real?

You sound 13 years old.

I recommend giving your head a wobble and having a cup of tea.

Blimey! Saucer of milk for you?

Opentooffers · 10/11/2023 22:26

I'll tell you plainly, it's quite possible that he's flirting. But you seem to think that if you got it wrong and he wasn't, there'd be some great embarrassment factor. Why, are you planning, jumping in with a date request if people on here give you the goahead?
In reality what you do, is match the energy and interest of the other person, so just carry on and in time you'll find out. Asking on a forum won't give you the shortcut to the end you might desire. In fact, best not to cut corners, enjoy the ride, go with the flow.

porridgeisbae · 10/11/2023 22:32

Opentooffers is right @HarrietSmarriet . Just take opportunities to chat/spend time with him at the activity etc. Try and get him away from the others. He will probably show his hand soon, if he's interested.

Original poster
HarrietSmarriet · 11/11/2023 05:06

Opentooffers · 10/11/2023 22:26

I'll tell you plainly, it's quite possible that he's flirting. But you seem to think that if you got it wrong and he wasn't, there'd be some great embarrassment factor. Why, are you planning, jumping in with a date request if people on here give you the goahead?
In reality what you do, is match the energy and interest of the other person, so just carry on and in time you'll find out. Asking on a forum won't give you the shortcut to the end you might desire. In fact, best not to cut corners, enjoy the ride, go with the flow.

Good advice thanks. I'll just take it slowly and give myself a chance to observe more. I'd just forgotten how crazy it makes you feel when you're interested in someone and not sure if it's mutual.

OP posts:
ABeautifulThing · 11/11/2023 08:02

statetrooperstacey · 10/11/2023 19:58

What was the song op? there’s a difference between oops upside your head and shakira !

😁😁😁

PinkPantherPrat · 11/11/2023 08:22

porridgeisbae · 10/11/2023 22:07

@HarrietSmarriet I'd say it's definitely flirty/he's interested OP. Why would he imagine you dancing otherwise?

And someone randomly touching a relative stranger of the opposite sex for longer than necessary, is flirting.

Don't say that, my dentist hugged me when he walked me to reception last visit!

OP you should try being more overt when you next see him. Did you say what the song was?

Rosiiee · 11/11/2023 08:31

Mm no defo flirting. The song comment and hand contact? There’s no way anyone who runs my kids activities would do that to me, even if we’re friendly. I’d interpret it as flirting and he was possibly doing it to see if you’d respond positively. Go for it!

Rosiiee · 11/11/2023 08:32

@PinkPantherPrat your dentist was clearly flirting 😂 I’m sure he/she has a thing for your teeth 😉

Greycottage · 11/11/2023 08:37

The long arm touch is DEFINITELY flirting, OP.

100% no question.

Sounds lovely, good for you. If you like him, see where it goes.

onwardsup4 · 11/11/2023 11:02

Yes what was the song ? Vital information

porridgeisbae · 12/11/2023 00:26

Don't say that, my dentist hugged me when he walked me to reception last visit!

@PinkPantherPrat Well that's a bit odd but not quite the same. Maybe if he'd hugged you and then stayed in that position for 30 seconds. Now that really would be weird.

DixonD · 12/11/2023 01:35

The consultant who did my embryo transfer hugged me afterwards. That was a bit weird 😂

Original poster
HarrietSmarriet · 12/11/2023 03:15

@DixonD haha. I accidentally hugged my hairdresser goodbye once. That was awkward.

Sorry folks, I have no idea what the song was, can't remember. However I saw him yesterday and there was a definite vibe. Im just going to keep on matching his energy and see what happens.

OP posts:
MariaLuna · 12/11/2023 03:25

Sounds like a creep to me.

Be careful OP You sound vulnerable.

MariaLuna · 12/11/2023 03:30

In my world, if the attraction is there, I would have a fuck lol but not get involved.

Certainly not if you have kids at home.

Make sure he doesn't need a roof over his head. I.e. yours!

Hurdygurdy12 · 12/11/2023 03:46

@GirlWithGuitar

the irony of trying to pull up the OP for sounding ‘13’ and then carrying on like you’re 12 😂

Original poster
HarrietSmarriet · 12/11/2023 04:01

@MariaLuna no, without giving anything away, I know for certain that's not an issue. Im not looking to move anyone in either. Just want to have a bit of fun and friendship.

OP posts:
Moro93 · 12/11/2023 04:50

I don’t think there’s been any strong enough indicators that he likes you/is flirting. The contact could be nothing and the comment about the dancing could be meant in a jokey way. Again, a lot of it comes down to his personality, what the song was etc.

I would either just wait a bit and see if he says anything or shows more obvious signs. Or you could bite the bullet and ask him out for a drink? If you know for certain he’s single.

SallyWD · 12/11/2023 05:04

It sounds mildly flirty but some guys are like this with most women. Hard to tell in this case

momonpurpose · 12/11/2023 05:23

GirlWithGuitar · 10/11/2023 15:33

Is this for real?

You sound 13 years old.

I recommend giving your head a wobble and having a cup of tea.

I think a crush at any age makes you feel 13 again OP. Enjoy it and see where it goes. Feeling young is far better when you're not. After losing your husband you deserve all the butterflies and sparkling feelings!