Is this Gaslighting

[Cantthin221]

Being accused of having a breakdown for your reaction to something they have done purposely the opposite to what you have asked/ wanted them to do.

Wether they done it carelessly or out of total disrespect to your wishes.

It's hard to say based on such a vague hypothetical.

Gaslighting isn't really a one-off thing. It's not certain phrases or behaviours in isolation. For example, one misconception is that the phrase "you're acting crazy" is gaslighting. Sure, it's a common type of phrase that's used when gaslighting someone, but it's also possible to say it and not be gaslighting someone. The phrase itself is not gaslighting, gaslighting is the intention behind the phrase or action.

The intention of gaslighting is to disable a person's grip on reality, to make them doubt themselves and their feelings, to cause them to feel so unstable that they actually lose their minds, with the overall intention of harnessing control over that person. In short, it's a technique for power and control.

This is why it's pretty much impossible to say if a person is gaslighting you based on one incident. Gaslighting is a whole dynamic that's interwoven into the fabric of a relationship and it can manifest in so many ways. Invalidating someone's feelings or telling them they're overreacting is one common way it manifests, but whether or not it's gaslighting depends on the intention behind it and whether or not it's a regular, systematic occurrence.

This is from Instagram...

I'd say no, not gaslighting, more arseholery.

If he knew the thing he did would upset you and went ahead and did it anyway, then - arseholery.

If he didn't know the thing he did would upset you then got mad with you for being upset then - arseholery.

Either way, he's shown you what he thinks of you - a decent guy apologise for doing the thing without realising, or he would not have done it and definitely not have got mad when you raised it with him.

Not every behavior you don't like is gaslighting.
The term gaslighting is used way too easily lately.

Gaslighting is a dysfunctionaly, highly problematic behavioral pattern where someone willingly, knowingly and systematically makes you feel like you're losing touch with reality and makes you doubt your own capacity to think and feel.

Someone who feels offended by something you say, isn't necessarily gaslighting.
Someone who doesn't like your emotional response to something isn't necessarily gaslighting.
They may not be correct or right for behaving this way, but calling it gaslighting is the same as telling someone who's crying that they're clinically depressed.