Why can’t I find a man

[Umbrellass]

Approaching 40. I’m single. Alone. Never been married. Most guys I meet are commitment phobic. I have no faith I will meet anyone even half decent.

anyone else in same boat?

I’m in the same boat. I’m much older than you- early 50s. I’ve been single most of my life altho I have been engaged once over 30 years ago.

I’ve given up meeting anyone now. I don’t click with many men anyway and if I do they end up cheating on me.

Yes and no. I like to remain forever the optimist. I'm not dating atm so I can't really expect to meet Mr right and complain when i don't xD ...although when I do date...the scene isn't that great as far as I can see. And now I'm a lot wiser to nonsense...it somehow makes me more dejected when dating tbh.

I saw a lady with a little baby today and felt really sad. I don't want kids personally, but there's still something sad about knowing I've never met a man who would even possibly have been suitable for me to have kids with. You know, kind, compatible, sane and mutual feelings. I don't know how anyone does it tbh.

It makes me feel for people who want that life. But also for myself as I'd love to love someone, who loves me back and is a good person and is compatible with me. I love the idea of finding a ride or die companion to dance through life with.

I've always been happiest when single tbh. But I live in hope of finding someone who changes that. Recon there's maybe a...15% percent chance I'll manage it someday xD

I guess if it hasn't happened by the time I'm 50ish though, meh, I'll hit the sun and the toyboys abroad. Debating doing that already tbh and just having some fun with it.

I don't really need Mr forever...I'd just love to find some fireworks that aren't... rooted in toxic, shall we say. Sometime good and genuine and worthy of a sonnet or two lol.

What do you actually like and do you have enthusiasm for anything at all?

You're going about it the wrong way! Change your mindset to you're meeting people to have fun, enjoy yourself and their company. Most people on their late thirties early forties etc carry some sort of baggage. Relationship broken down, been hurt, cheated on, divorced etc. Let things take its natural course and see where it leads to. If someone is scared of commitment but still wants to meet up with you, don't close that door, you can still be friends and things will progress naturally.

I was single for many many years. I kept pushing myself to go out - to social events, joining clubs, saying yes to everything - even when it felt utterly futile. Eventually I met my husband. I really wanted a partner so that drove me on when I felt hopeless. I had to put myself out there though, not easy for an introvert.