Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Ex husband and family have nothing to do with my son

6 replies

lonelightlilith · 08/11/2023 19:50

My ex husband left me two weeks after our six month old son was born, after being awful to me throughout my pregnancy due to a hidden and extreme addiction problem. He came back briefly three months later, was just as abusive within about three weeks, I told him it was over between us and he disappeared and I haven’t heard from him or his family since.

I feel extremely torn because whilst it makes it easier for me not to have contact with any of them (they have all enabled his addiction issues and have hurt me badly), I feel extremely hurt and angry on my son’s behalf, as it looks like he won’t have any connection with that side of his family at all at this rate. Even his sister, who I thought highly of, has never met my boy.

Should I just try to forget them and move on? Just after he left me they were trying to fight me for visitation (which I have always allowed but supervised) but that fizzled out extremely quickly as they couldn’t be bothered doing supervised contact. I feel like I’m waiting constantly for them to pop up and demand contact, and I just feel so conflicted about how to handle my feelings on the matter.

OP posts:
category12 · 08/11/2023 20:16

Sounds like you've done your best to facilitate contact and I would leave it at that. They know where you are.

The extended family have no rights to see your child, so it's purely on your goodwill.

MintGreenPolo · 08/11/2023 20:31

It’s only 6 months, things may change. My kids are much older now (preteens) and ex and his family also have nothing to do with them but at 6m things may change and I’ve heard of fathers coming back and stepping up

Giggorata · 08/11/2023 20:44

This was the situation with my ex, his family and our son. MIL sent Xmas presents for a while, but that tapered off.
No one came to visit, despite invitations, including at one point, to a separate cottage on the land, so we wouldn't awkwardly had to have shared a house.

Frankly, I couldn’t have been more pleased, ex husband was a violent twat and his family were clannish and enabling. To have them involved and interfering in DS's upbringing would have produced far more problems and issues than benefits.

IvorTheEngineDriver · 08/11/2023 21:12

Forget it and move on. Life's too short to qorry about this. Just make sure your DS knows that it's his "D"F that went no-contact and not you.

lonelightlilith · 09/11/2023 19:22

Thanks all. I guess it’s time to move on and thank my lucky stars that I don’t have to deal
with them.

OP posts:
determinedtomakethiswork · 09/11/2023 20:40

I would thank every God that is that you don't have to have any contact with any of them. They can't make demands like that anyway,if they do turn up later. Your child's father is a different matter but his other relatives can just fuck off.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page