Is he narcissistic or toxic?

[Elliebb57]

Iv known this man a long time, we split up a while ago but hav remained friends, we talk daily and still see each other a couple of times a week, i think history draws us back together, but apart from that hes done some things thats made me think hes a narcissist, hes accused me in the past of taking things out of his pockets and ripping his clothes, iv done none of this, we can have a good few months then he'll cause a row and do the silent treatment or last year he ghosted me for 2 months with no warning, last week he lost his bus pass and said 'just say u have it and ill not mention it again' he kept calling me asking have i found it and dont talk to him until i so! i tried calling him and he just messaged saying 'i gave you the oppertunity and you didnt take it so dont phone me again' i cant understand his behaviour, i think he needs help..Anyone else had this?

I think you may need help. What did I just read? Why are you engaging with this nonsense?! Leave this tosser alone and move on with your life.

Does it matter? He’s an absolute wanker who needs to be binned off and blocked asap.

Why are you giving this man time and headspace?

Sounds more like a schizophrenic.

Buy yes npd is a possibility. Pushing you away as a punishment in order to make you desperate to get him back ect...and make you worry you might be the problem because for some reason he struggles to believe you.

Either way, he's nuts. Run.

Would likely never find out but he may just be a twat. Either way avoid him, block him and move on. You can't help him, don't worry about someone like that it's futile. Move on and live.

Please don't do that- the amateur psychiatry is really unnecessary.
OP you don't need a label to cut this man out of your life.

It doesn't matter whether he is narcissistic or toxic, or any combination thereof.

My diagnosis is that he is an utter dickhead and you would be well rid of him.

He is abusive, mean, nasty, and just plain horrible.

Why don't you just block him and get your life back without the stress of having him in it? You need to analyse yourself and your behaviour at keeping him in your life rather than analysing him. Get some therapy.

He’s crazy and just unkind! Ignoring someone is horrible! My boyfriend is ignoring me at the moment and it’s so painful to go through! Have you spoken to this guy and told him how it makes you feel and maybe suggest he sees someone professionally

He's a knob, and it really doesn't matter what kind of a knob he is. No diagnosis, armchair or otherwise, will make him not a knob, so best to cease contact.

Not sure about other labels but he is indeed a twat. Do yourself a favour and do not call him. NEVER EVER AGAIN.

I wouldn't bother trying to psychoanalyse him, he isn't treating you well and it's not your job to fix him.

Suffering from any form of MH condition either real or imagined - and being a manipulative dickhead are not mutually exclusive.

I say that as someone married to a man with BPD.

My armchair psychiatric qualifications allow me to diagnose your friend as an unpleasant twat. The only known successful therapy is for you to stop feeding his ego with need and attention by never contacting him again.

You will achieve a complete cure (for your self) and a much happier life within a few weeks.

You might think he needs help, but he doesn't, does he? He's an adult. He's perfectly capable of looking after himself, and he's not your responsibility.

Did you have a parent that you had to take care of when you were little? Due to addiction or illness, or an overbearing sibling, or over work, or the other parent being abusive? That's where we normally learn that it's a good idea to psychoanalyse adults; because, in that instance, when it's a parent, we can't walk away. Then we repeat the pattern we've learned as we grow up.

As an adult, you don't have to spent time with people who you think are negative in any way. Not even if they're relatives. Trying to work out if he's this sort or that sort of unhealthy is you being unhealthy yourself. Your responsibility to you is to create a lovely life for yourself with lovely people around you and things you find lovely to do. Stop doing anything outside of that that isn't completely unnecessary, and your life will be much lovelier. Start by walking away from this man.

Does that all make sense? Can you do it?

Just get rid. No need for a diagnosis.

Newsflash*

There are other terms and psychological presentations than narcissist and toxic... see also gaslighting. These are all terms thrown around far too lightly thanks to social media.
As others have stated, leave this man and work on your love for yourself.

A good question for you OP: What will you get out of alighting on a diagnosis for this man? How will it affect your behaviour towards him? If he's toxic, how will you treat him differently from if he's narcissistic?

@Elliebb57 sounds like you are allowing this person to stay over in your house! Why would you allow this person in your door???