Hi all,
Will keep this as short as I can.
I met a guy on a dating site a number of months ago. I was instantly super attracted to him as he is extremely good looking. On paper, pretty much everything I want in a man.
We had a first date, went out for dimmer. Then I’ll be honest, we kind of jumped into just having fun after that. He still lives at home so we’d meet up in quiet places to have fun, forests at night etc. It was exciting and fun, but I was falling for him. He knew it too. After meeting a few times he told me that he didn’t think we would work out in a relationship and said he thought I was great, beautiful, personality etc but he just didn’t have any feelings for me. He said we were friends and always would be and I accepted this and although upset for a time, I moved on and dated other people.
Fast forward over 3 months and I get a message on Facebook from him asking how things are. I said fine, asked him the same. He asked if I had settled down yet to which I said no. He said he had been thinking about the forest, and us being together. I said I’d be lying if I didn’t think about it too, because I do, a lot.
He said maybe we should do it again for ‘old times sake’. I took this as him just booty calling me and if I’m honest, being single, lonely and horny makes you do stupid things, so I agreed to meet him. We went back to the same place, had sex in his car, more fun etc. It was freezing cold so I jokingly said ‘maybe next time we should just go to my house!’. As soon as I said it I told him that didn’t mean I was expecting there would be a next time as I knew where he stood about not wanting a relationship with me/not having feelings for me. He then shocked me by saying ‘I didn’t say that’. To which I told him he did, and I promise he did.
he said ‘I do like you, I just don’t want to break your heart’. ‘Don’t push things, just play it cool’. To which I responded saying I hadn’t spoken to him for months since he told me he didn’t want me. I don’t know how much cooler I could have played it to be honest.
Anyway, when I left him I asked him if I would see him again. To which he just said ‘just play it cool’. Throughout the night he had made a few references to ‘oh we should do this one day’ or ‘I want to do this with you’ etc etc. I know it could’ve just been conversation fillers but I’m now really confused.
I thought he was done with me months ago. I didn’t expect him to reappear and want to sleep with me again to be honest. But what confuses me more is why he denied saying he didn’t want anything more with me. He could’ve just said something like ‘yea I said that, and I still mean it but I thought we could still have some fun’. Because he knows I am really into him, he says quite Often ‘I know you really like me’ so he knows I would’ve still said yes regardless. He messaged the next day saying have a good day at work etc and ‘ttys’. It feels like im back to where I was a few months ago with him.
he told me he had dated someone since me and had slept with her but commented that it wasn’t like it was with me. I don’t really take this as a compliment to be honest, I think it was just blowing smoke up my backside. But given how good looking he is, and knowing he was in dating apps, I know he could easily hook up with anyone other than me whenever he wanted. He said he had deleted the apps, after I said I was off them too. He said ‘yes so am I’.
my confusion is that he knows I have feelings for him, so why would he come back purely for sex when he could pretty much get that anywhere? He’d already shut me down months ago and I had left him to it so he will know fine well that reaching out again and sleeping with me will have reopened the expectation in my mind that he is interested in me. I’m just really confused?