Date said he is not dependent on his job, what do you think he means?

[VelvetVoice]

I know no one can say for sure just looking for opinions
And I know I should have asked him but I paid no mind at the time

He was talking about drama at his job (earns around 80K) that is making colleagues very stressed but he does not get stressed because he does not ‘depend on his job’
But he rents (London) and despite expensive taste he lives a simple life

What do you think he means?

@Alohapotato

It just means he has another income stream. People often jump to "trust fund" in here, but there are multiple passive revenue streams that people can live off, investments, property portfolio, inheritance, lottery win etc. Many many ways.

I remember once, my new manager at work "punished" me at work for something ridiculous and said I wasn't getting a pay rise that year. I looked him straight in the eyes and said that money wasn't an issue for me. Little did he know that I had a property portfolio. He was well pissed off. People are so used to people having to work to be able to afford life that they are shocked that some people don't rely on employment to fund their lives.

This isn't anything that I'd be concerned about, but as with meeting anyone new, be wary in case he's bullshitting you, often conmen will make out like they're loaded then steal your life savings.

It's not weird at all - it is common sense. When I was OLD I checked men out to see their background and no I wasn't a gold digger. It's me with the money.

Alot of people and a lot of men derive most of their self esteem from work

if he’s saying this and lives simple im assuming he’s seen the capitalist corporate world for what it is ?

If he's from overseas I suspect he has money there and push comes to shove can always go home. He may not own in the U.K. because getting a mortgage isn't straightforward if you are a foreign national plus money not in the county and/or planning on going back

I think this is a massive red flag. He is putting it out there in a first date thst he has money . Just be cautious that he's not a conman after yours x

I agree it's common sense if someone tells you where they work to independently try and verify that. Self preservation. There's enough bonkers Walter Mittys out there to sink a ship.

In answer to the question;

either he has plenty of savings, he has family money/trust fund, he has rental properties, or he means he could walk into another similar job very quickly or he's full of shit.

Undoubtedly funded by family. And undoubtedly he'll have obligations further down the line.

Enjoy in the short term only (unless you're from the same culture).

I don’t depend on my job.

i have a side business, frugal lifestyle, and lots of savings and investments.

I’m completely broke and we have been dating for 5 months

Are you dating him or his bank account?

Frankly if someone asked me so many questions about/was so fixated on my finances I would drop them on the spot.

@VelvetVoice

'I’m completely broke'

Yep. You would be the red flag for me...sounds like you are looking for someone to support you financially.

If I had asked him so many questions about his finances, would I have written this post here?

I didn’t ask him questions even when he said - out of his own accord - that he was not dependent of his job.

After he said that I just asked where else would he prefer to work at and he said he was happy to stay where he is. Then I asked what about if he gets fired and he said ‘pretty much impossible’ or something like that

We talk about work a lot

nah, I’m good. Completely broke in the sense that I need my job to be able to live, and no other streams of income and very little luxuries but enough comfort and also ZERO debt.

I’m not looking to get married or move in together (least I lose my council flat) so I’m fine

Some MNetters like you turn every innocent into a nasty discussion - it’s sad

Many possibilities:

he has rare but sought-after skills and knows he can get another job at any time

he's waiting for prices to drop before buying a home

he does not intend to settle in London, or in the UK

he is very wealthy, but for obvious reasons is not going to say so in the early stages of a relationship

he's bluffing and will soon be asking you for a loan to solve a 'temporary cash flow issue'.

He's a grifter.

He's either out to impress you or he's one of those blokes who make a habit of living off various women in various ways.

If he was for real he wouldn't just say he wasn't dependent on his job. He'd say he was from money or he was financially free due to a trust fund.

Have you met any of his family?

No, I haven’t travelled to the other side of the world to meet his family yet and he will never be able to live off me since he knows I have nothing

He doesn’t need to impress me at this point - 5 months in - and sex already happened so he is not trying to get into my pants

He said what he said very casually when telling me a conversation he had with a stressed colleague who was all caught up in work drama and could not understand why my date was not stressed himself

Family wealth
Independent means, Investment / property portfolio
Frugal and saves a lot
In a field with highly employable skills and could walk into another company tomorrow
Hitman

We rent, my other half earns about 90k and had a lot of savings till COVID, not everyone want to be stuck in one place on a house that takes awhile to sell. He had just been made redundant with a great package so I guess he could say the sames as OPs date. No family money, just savings

Perhaps it is a family business?

I think over-analysing casual offhand remarks isn't really productive. I also think the posters in this thread who seem certain of what he meant are batshit. A lot of potential meanings.

Incidentally is English his first language? The context of your conversation isn't about finances, more about rising above workplace drama.

Why are you so concerned about this comment? Maybe he has savings? I don’t see the issue at all

I expect it means he could move home and be supported by his family.

He could simply mean that his self esteem doesn’t depend on how well or badly work is going. That’s why he isn’t stressed.

Lots of possibilities. If you are financially independent and intend to remain so, it’s not too important realky but I would be curious too.

i never get stressed in any job either - life is too short - if theres a loada drama and i get bad vibes i just apply for something else and move on! maybe that's what he means