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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Finally done, please stay with me..

2 replies

itsfinallytime · 05/11/2023 21:12

I've name changed because I'm a fairly frequent MN user.

I've stayed in a long and abusive relationship for much longer than I should have because DC have additional needs.

To cut a long story short, DH raped me as I slept over a number of years. I posted at the time and had lots people on here explain it was abusive, I did know that, but because my kids have severe SEN it was not a good time to end the relationship. What I did do was throw my DH out of the bedroom and fwiw for the last 4 years he has stayed in a separate room and has not laid a finger on me.

But he still isn't being kind or fair or respectful. We've just come off a city break with the kids where he's shown me that he continues not to care about me. I think he is undiagnosed autistic, (both kids are autistic) but nonetheless, what do I do now?

There will never be a good time to end this relationship. He has the power, financially as I had to give everything up to be full time carer to our now nearly adult kids. what do I do now?

OP posts:
27penny · 05/11/2023 21:30

Beg, Borrow or Steal to get some money for a solicitors advice!! There is a way out you just need guidance

Proseccoh · 05/11/2023 22:25

He raped you. Please contact a domestic abuse helpline/charity. They will help you. There are charities and solicitors who will help with initial legal advice. Please make the call as soon as you can. I presume the children are still fairly dependent despite being nearly adults? I suspect you will have more power in this situation than you currently think. And well done for being so strong. That must have been so difficult. You can do this xx

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