Page 2 | OLD really that bad?

CaramelShortcakes · 2023-11-05T15:31:35+00:00

Is online dating really that bad? People often advise against it but it’s very hard to meet someone irl especially when older (30s) when I was younger men would often approach me out and about and that’s how I met people but that doesn’t happen now (for me). Has anyone had any success with old and is it really that bad as feel a bit scared to join?!

CallmePaul · 06/11/2023 08:33

YaWeeFurryBastard · 06/11/2023 05:58

I don't know which is best for amazing looking non mental mid 30s ladies hunting men at least 10 yrs older with own hair & teeth, but as a bloke in that demographic that's the one I want to find lol!

@CallmePaul the vast majority of women want men their own age, not “at least ten years older”. What’s wrong with women your own age?

Unfortunately OP you’ll find quite a few men like the above on OLD, however it can work and there are some rare gems on there if you’re prepared to be persistent.

I'm not looking to date, it was my attempt at humour really, I've always except when I was a young teen had a couple of years younger partners, my biggest long one was 6 yrs younger, not planned just the way it worked out.

I was just at a wedding actually of a 21 or 22 yr age gap, from the outside it perhaps seemed a bit 'daddy issues' for the lady who is the younger, frankly she is gorgeous but he's no fat Harvey Winestein type, they seem happy & she seems remarkably normal & her mum married an older guy her dad& still with him still so to her it's it's just normal. It wasn't a OLD set up tho, but via a hobby.

CesareBorgia · 06/11/2023 08:40

CallmePaul · 05/11/2023 21:13

Just to add there are so many OLD sites are the regular ones even I who's never OLDed has heard of, tinder, bumble, match, plenty of fish, hinge & grindr for gay guys.

However a male pal used a site for larger ladies another used some BDSM site, female friend used beardr for ladies who like bearded guys apparently & there must be tons more.

I don't know which is best for amazing looking non mental mid 30s ladies hunting men at least 10 yrs older with own hair & teeth, but as a bloke in that demographic that's the one I want to find lol!

So the woman has to be 'amazing looking' whereas all that is required of the man ten years her senior is that he has his 'own hair and teeth' ? 🙄

Planesmistakenforstars · 06/11/2023 08:52

So the woman has to be 'amazing looking' whereas all that is required of the man ten years her senior is that he has his 'own hair and teeth' ? 🙄

No wait, they also have to be non-mental!! It's quite a mystery why they don't want to date talking pigs with their own hair and teeth. What else could they possibly be looking for?

rentingthisglove · 06/11/2023 22:34

Maybe go back to trying OLD rather than mumsnet Paul?

CallmePaul · 06/11/2023 23:47

rentingthisglove · 06/11/2023 22:34

Maybe go back to trying OLD rather than mumsnet Paul?

Never done it, reminder to self, never make even a self depreciating joke on here. Goes down like a lead balloon.

Julianna7 · 06/11/2023 23:57

Hello.
I feel exactly like you. At 38 it's difficult to me to meet new people. And I remote work also!
I've tried tinder 4 years ago and nothing relevant came from that .
Now I gave tinder another try. I know a friend Who found a really nice guy and they're married.
You can try. But always date in public places at least the first two dates. And for the first one, inform a fríend where you would be...i let the WhatsApp with GPS on

GreyCarpet · 07/11/2023 06:25

CallmePaul · 06/11/2023 23:47

Never done it, reminder to self, never make even a self depreciating joke on here. Goes down like a lead balloon.

Show quote history

I don't know which is best for amazing looking non mental mid 30s ladies hunting men at least 10 yrs older with own hair & teeth, but as a bloke in that demographic that's the one I want to find lol!

The fact you think this is a self deprecating joke probably goes a long way to explaining why a lot of men are such dicks...

Ilovelurchers · 07/11/2023 06:35

I met my husband on OLD and he is not perfect, nor am I, but he is the love of my life.

I know lots of people who have met partners on there. Others who have successfully used it for hook-ups and consensual adult fun.

So yeah it can work well for people. Probably depends how rigid your idea of the person you want to meet is. The more rigid, the harder they will be to find . But in real life this is true too.

NeurodivergentBurnout · 07/11/2023 07:31

I went OLD when I split from now XH. I’m in my 40s and I’d been with XH for many years. OLD was very different in the 00s! I’m I tried Christian connections (because I am a Christian - not good!), Bumble, Hinge, all Cupid and Tinder. Tinder and Ok Cupid were awful and I’d agree, avoid!

Bumble and Hinge were my preferred sites. My tips would be - avoid all selfies on your profile. Avoid all group photos. You need a mix. Don’t use loads of filters. Equally same in reverse for the people you’re swiping. Avoid anyone who says ‘Somehow I find myself here again, just looking to settle down’ - they’re not! Avoid anyone who is keen to meet super quickly and equally anyone who isn’t available for ages. Anyone who wants to sext before you meet has no intention of meeting you! I had a good couple of months from starting to actually getting on a date. Lots of last minute cancellations. The above helped me to see red flags early on.

I did meet someone lovely in the end. It was 5 months after I’d joined OLD. Think I had dated 5 people before him, last two I’d managed two dates each! Been with my OH almost a year now 🥰

CesareBorgia · 07/11/2023 09:13

CallmePaul · 06/11/2023 23:47

Never done it, reminder to self, never make even a self depreciating joke on here. Goes down like a lead balloon.

Show quote history

It's the fact it was a women-deprecating joke that went down like a lead balloon!

Here's a tip for you - if you do go on OLD, use the same search parameters for matches as you've used to describe yourself - you will find hundreds of women in their 40s with their own hair and teeth.

Watchkeys · 07/11/2023 11:06

@CallmePaul

Never done it, reminder to self, never make even a self depreciating joke on here. Goes down like a lead balloon

Your readiness to blame people for not getting your joke doesn't play well...

Catandsquirrel · 08/11/2023 18:42

CallmePaul · 06/11/2023 23:47

Never done it, reminder to self, never make even a self depreciating joke on here. Goes down like a lead balloon.

Show quote history

What was the self deprecating bit? Didn't come across brilliantly.

GreyCarpet · 08/11/2023 18:52

Catandsquirrel · 08/11/2023 18:42

What was the self deprecating bit? Didn't come across brilliantly.

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I think the self deprecating bit was the suggestion that men over 40 find it hard to shag hot 20 year olds.

Or something...

JamItUp · 08/11/2023 21:54

GreyCarpet · 05/11/2023 21:40

In my experience, and judging from the experience of people I know, if you are quite mainstream (not intended as an insult!) - have mainstream interests, tastes, preferences, views you will fair better than if you are a bit more 'niche'.

That's largely because a lot of the men doing OLD want a woman who dresses a certain way, looks a certain way, listens watches mainstream telly, listens to mainstream music - in short, is predictable to them, who they regard as being 'drama free' and won't embarrass them in any way.

They don't like women who challenge them or make them feel inferior or insecure about who they are.

Eg. They might take the piss that you want to watch reality TV and are interested in sleb gossip but, in the main, they'd rather that than you like art house cinema, obscure bands or have a distinctive style of dress.

That's because, as others have said, a lot of them want a wife/replacement wife who is no bother. They see 'individuality' (ignoring that we are all 'individuals') as a warning beacon that you might be hard to handle and have your own mind. They want someome who will make their life easier (in their eyes this looks like someone who stays at home while they go to the pub a few nights a week) not someone who is going to pursue their own life and interests.

Yes, this is a very broad generalisation and doesn't apply to meeting people in real life, nor to every man doing OLD but when it comes to OLD, from what I've seen, the more middle of the road you are the more successful you'll be.

@GreyCarpet Such a lot of insight in what you’ve written and I totally concur! (PS. I actually do like art house, though am happy with a ‘Carry On’ at Christmas 🙂)

100bench · 08/11/2023 22:26

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IBlinkThereforeIAm · 08/11/2023 22:58

I don't know which is best for amazing looking non mental mid 30s ladies hunting men at least 10 yrs older with own hair & teeth, but as a bloke in that demographic that's the one I want to find lol!

@CallmePaul why would an "amazing looking" sane woman in her mid-30s be interested in a man 10+ years older and be impressed by someone having hair and teeth? Why can't you get women your own age to date you?

Disturbia81 · 08/11/2023 23:02

IBlinkThereforeIAm · 08/11/2023 22:58

I don't know which is best for amazing looking non mental mid 30s ladies hunting men at least 10 yrs older with own hair & teeth, but as a bloke in that demographic that's the one I want to find lol!

@CallmePaul why would an "amazing looking" sane woman in her mid-30s be interested in a man 10+ years older and be impressed by someone having hair and teeth? Why can't you get women your own age to date you?

Thanks for quoting this grim bloke before I could, this is the crud that women have to filter through.

Disturbia81 · 08/11/2023 23:03

YaWeeFurryBastard · 06/11/2023 05:58

I don't know which is best for amazing looking non mental mid 30s ladies hunting men at least 10 yrs older with own hair & teeth, but as a bloke in that demographic that's the one I want to find lol!

@CallmePaul the vast majority of women want men their own age, not “at least ten years older”. What’s wrong with women your own age?

Unfortunately OP you’ll find quite a few men like the above on OLD, however it can work and there are some rare gems on there if you’re prepared to be persistent.

Got there before me!

What a diamond he is 🤢

CesareBorgia · 08/11/2023 23:22

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Charming ...