Friends and Ex-Partner

[Hare95]

Since splitting with my ex, 2 out of my 3 best friends have stayed friends with her (same sex relationship and my friends in question are all female).

At the latter part of my 14 year relationship my now ex was violent towards me on a few different occasions. Since the breakup, my ex has caused me a lot or problems and just been generally difficult and plain nasty at times. All of the above my friends are aware of. Both of the friends I'm mentioning are friends I introduced to my ex and my ex has a huge circle of friends all with children the same age as our son. My ex used to see her circle of friends all the time but since our breakup 2 years ago I've heard of only a few meet ups with her circle of friends yet my two friends she sees with our son consistently (one of them every weekend and every day of those weekends).

AIBU or stupid to be upset over this? I feel really hurt that my friends know what my ex has put me through but yet they continue to see her, one of which is even closer to my ex than she is me now and we were like sisters before 😞

Do your friends know the full extent?

If not its fine for them to remain friends with someone they have bonded with. Just because you broke up doesn't mean your friends have broken up with them.

They do yes. They know every last minute detail. My other friend who is just as close to me has ceased all contact with my ex after finding out what she had put me through. Yet my other 2 friends don't think they are doing anything wrong (i have explained why the situation upsets me in the past). Personally if I found out all of this about my best friends partner/ex I certainly wouldn't be able to remain amicable with that person, let alone getting even closer to them than when we were in a relationship (which is what's happened with my friends and my ex).

I couldn't edit my original post; I forgot to say that tonight my ex has yet again been with one of said friends along with my fri3nds two children and mine and my ex's son. My friend has put pictures up on social media of her posing with her children and my son. This has really got to me in all honesty! If I knew my friend was upset/uncomfortable about me still seeing her ex, at the very least I would make sure I wasn't shoving pictures in my friends face. It just felt like a real kick in the teeth to be honest. Does anyone else think she's been really insensitive here? Or am I just being a total arse? x

YANBU

I’m not surprised you’re really upset.

Personally I would ditch them.

Yeah you’re friend is being insensitive with it being posted on facebook. It’s difficult as you don’t want people to pick sides but in this case your ex was clearly abusive. Perhaps she’s manipulative and charming too so they don’t see the real person and are in denial about the abuse?