Husband left 7months agon

[Kindheartedperson]

My husband walked out and left 7 months ago I didn’t no he was moving out until I got home and notice he had gone !!
We have a son together who he hasn’t bothered with since leaving ‘ why nearly 7months later am I still hurting and feel so bitter towards him 🥲

So sorry to read this. You need some kind of resolution. You don't have a clue about why he's done this. Is there no family you can contact? How are you financially? Contact a support group.

@Iloveanicegarden thanks for message . Yeah he said he just didn’t love me anymore just like that .
wish I could just turn my feelings off like he has.
I was supporting us all financially so I guess I have one less mouth to feed.
No he doesn’t have any family parents have passed away and his sister has her own family x

He doesn't even see his son? That's shocking. I'm sorry you're going through this. Have you contacted the CBS to get maintenance for your child? That won't heal the wounds but it would give that prick of an ex a kick up the backside.

@Jk987 hiya yeah he hasn’t seen his son since end of March !
He is meant to be picking him up today for contact . He is self employed so it’s pointless trying to get any money from him all he ever says is he has nothing and a just think what’s the point he had nothing when we was together i was / am the breadwinner. X

How appalling. What a scumbag.

So sorry OP I know it may not help but you are better off without.

It will get easier with time but keep pushing for maintenance.

Do you have support in real life?

How old is your son? Your poor boy, how awful.

Honey, you still feel awful because you feel abandoned. Abandonment wounds take a long time to heal. You had no idea this was going to happen, no time to prepare, that’s horrendous. Your poor child, I can’t stand men like this.

There is a book called ‘from abandonment to healing’ if I remember rightly it has exercises to help you process what has happened. It might help.

But meanwhile just be gentle with yourself. You’re not a long way down the line you’re just a few months in. You have healing to do. If you’re not in counselling you could go to your gp or self refer through mental health in your area, in ours it’s called ‘health in mind’.

I hope you are grey rocking this fool, no context unless it’s his son and finances.

@Airbuss thank you 😊, yeah I do
have loads off support friends and family.
Ano its just gonna time to get over everything that’s went on.
It amazes me how men can treat woman like trash 🗑️.
all my family and friends have told me a can do
better and deserve better and i know i do but when it’s you going though it its bloody hard.

@Comtesse hey my little boy has just turned 7 he does have asd so he really struggles to understand

@Susieb2023 hi susie thank for you message .
Yeah a do often think how the hell could you just walk out with out a care in the world.
So I haven’t spoke to him in months I just cut him off I had to for my own mental health but he has been getting his sly little digs in on sm about me , and i Finley messaged him last night and said what is your problem he said I want to see my son so that’s how the little ones with him today x

@Kindheartedperson
OP, it does not sound as though you lost a good man or a great love.

It sounds as though you lost a deadbeat and a dependent. If it is any consolation, dependent deadbeats are easily replaceable. If that is where your bar is set, you don't need to be sad and lonely for long.

Encourage him to have a relationship with your son, beyond that,it is probably unrealistic to expect much from him. Hopefully, he will step up and be a presence in his son's life.

OP don’t get into the SM drama with him
Block him and don’t engage . If he wants to be a parent he needs to pick up the phone and make arrangements

Contact CBA for maintenance, it doesn’t matter if he’s self employed or not he has a son who he should be supporting.

If you can consider counselling you have been through a traumatic experience, abandonment shakes self believe to the core. Be kind to yourself & your child

I wouldn't encourage the relationship with his son. Who is to say he won't just walk out again when the boy is older. Hurting him as he did you.

Mu guess would be he didn't want to deal with a screaming newborn. Maybe was seeing someone else too.

Be aware he may reappear (this might be it) trying to get back with you at some point. With some bs sob story about not being ready to be a dad.

He's sniffing around now. If you seem happy and healthy he'll be looking to worm his way back in like the energy vampire he is. Either that or the other woman has turfed him out.

I know they because no man abandons his baby for 6 months and comes back because he cares about them. Because he doesn't care about them. If he's coming back, it's for his own personal gain.

He's either realised the grass is greener elsewhere so is planning to get you back or perhaps he has a new partner he is trying to impress and doesn't want to look like a deadbeat dad so needs to have the kid in his life.

@Kindheartedperson
You know what happened with the between the 2 of you. Don't try to define the relationship between your ex and his son. Your son deserves a right to have a relationship with his dad even if that dad is a deadbeat. Many children love their deadbeat dads. It may not make sense to a responsible parent , but it happens none the less.

If you love your son, accept the fact that he deserves the right to experience and define his father on his terms.

It won't be easy, but it will be in the best interest of your son.