He is a walking red flag, so why can't I be glad he's gone?

[Carrotcake90]

I have been seeing a guy for a year and a half, it never progressed into anything and we just became FWB. My life would be so much simpler if he was out of it and now it looks like he is, he cancelled our last meeting and haven't heard from him in a week.
What is wrong with me? I'm surprised at how hurt I'm feeling. I don't trust this guy as far as I could throw him and am pretty sure he's seeing other people.
When did my boundaries become so non existent? I'm normally a confident enough person but when it comes to this guy I just let him reel me back in. I will say the amazing sex and physical chemistry has a lot to do with it.
I obviously still really like him if I'm feeling like this over not hearing from him.

You said it yourself, you can't trust the guy and it isn't going anywhere. That's enough to stop contact. Its going to be hard but you need to go cold turkey, get rid of his number, block him and resist peeking at socials. Appreciate that you've had some good sex but get back to remembering who you are without him. Relationships= trust. Without that its a house of cards x

So difficult when you like someone in a sexual way. It will hurt for a bit just roll with it and be kind to yourself. In time you won't even think about him again.

@Homesteady thanks so much. It's dead end and going nowhere and there's no trust. If this was my friend in this , I would be telling her to get out of it

@Bluela18 yes it almost feels like a drug, so hard to give him up when the sex was the best I had ever had! It's a head over heart thing unfortunately

I'm in a similar situation, focusing on self-care. Instead of dwelling on denying myself something unhealthy, I'm emphasizing exercise, healthy eating, and self-love. It's challenging, but on rough days, I remind myself that tomorrow is a new day. I am struggling with it, but trying my best. :)

Don’t blame yourself. Be honest with yourself: you hoped this would become a real relationship, but all he wants is sex.

FWB is so crushing for women. Block him and find a kind man. Sex fades, all that matters when you’re older is if he’s kind.

After not seeing or hearing from him for a week, it's over, if he tries messaging again, tell yourself it's not good enough, if he really cared he wouldn't disappear on you.
Get yourself back out there, date others or find something that consumes your time to stop giving him headspace.

That's exactly it he'll have the same impact on your body's chemical system as drugs or gambling the little wins keep you chasing the high... we've all been on there don't be too tough in yourself!

I think if it like junk food. Yes you know the first bite will taste good but if that's all you fill up
On you have no nourishment and feel terribly sick. seeing him will stop you being open and free to meeting a good guy who will treat you well and will seem less exciting of course x

Read the book 'block delete move on' and listen to her podcasts

@Unexpectedlysinglemum believe it or not , I actually have listened to that book on Audible. How embarrassing that I'm still doing everything she says not to 🙈

@Unexpectedlysinglemum you're exactly right, he's like junk food. He's unhealthy and bad for me, I need to shake myself

@RICHY12 the only way is through the discomfort , I wish there was a shortcut. Sending you hugs, it's horrible isn't it. Why do bad things feel so good

I like what countdowntowhat said. I found myself in a FWB situation but only because I kept hoping it would turn into more, which it was never going to as he was getting exactly what he wanted out of it with zero effort. I called it off when I found a relationship yet I can't help still being attracted to him and get a real buzz if I hear from him now (despite being with someone lovely) I'm just hoping it will wear off with time and I will look back and wonder what I ever saw in him. At the beginning I believed his reasons it couldnt be more, but now I think it was just a convenient excuse as months later if he wanted to make it work he would have and I knew I was going to end up getting hurt. We need to keep strong and hold on to our values and self worth. (Obvs some people enter into FWB situation happy both sides, different if both not on same page)

I've had one of these op. It's so hard when the chemistry and sex is great. You end up chasing the feeling you get from them even if they are total arseholes. I do think chemistry is often actually anxiety, attachment wounds being triggered or your gut trying to tell you something. But it can feel exciting and like you're in love.

With mine he was the only man I've met since I split from my kid's dad who made me feel something so I got addicted to that. We had a lot in common too which made it harder and I kind of fell in love with the idea of him.

In reality he was avoidant, messed up and clearly using me at his convenience. I just try to remind myself of that when I think I miss him. Which happens a lot at the moment. Solidarity op, it's hard 😩

You like drama in your life.

@RocketIceLollie thanks for the useless and baseless advice